Trump Wins Trade War And US Gets China’s Great Wall

Trump Wins Trade War And US Gets China’s Great Wall September 18, 2018


Washington DC – President Trump announced he won the trade war with China. The United States will receive China’s Great Wall. China will see all US tariffs on its goods disappear.  Upon the delivery of the Great Wall, it will be placed on the US-Mexico border.

Economists note the trade imbalance between the two nations will not change at all. America will still import Chinese steel as it did before the trade war. Other issues such as China disregarding intellectual copyrights were not resolved. The economic conflict did accomplish damaging US businesses that need inexpensive Chines products, however.

And Trump got his wall.

And it’s a great one.

The White House states the Great Wall of China will soon become the Halliburton-Jesus Wall. It will span the entire US-Mexico border. The Trump administration realizes the Great Wall of China is really, really big. It’s much bigger than the United States’ southern border. Whatever Wall is left over is going to be used to encircle crime ridden cities and their Democratic mayors. This way minorities outside the country can’t get in and minorities already inside the country are managed properly.

The Chinese government seems happy with thedeal. Many in the Chinese government were initially concerned that such a symbol of national pride would be given away to the Americans. China’s President Xi Jinping assured his followers the US will never get a gram of the Great Wall. The trade agreement explicitly states China will give the US a great wall. They never promised Trump to give him the Great Wall. President Xi Jinping has yet to decide if the wall the Americans will get will be made out of Legos or Lincoln Logs.

Despite everything, Trump supporters are celebrating the big win. “President Trump is a strong negotiator. We’re getting a big wall to keep Mexicans out, and China is paying for it!” exclaimed WWE and Trump super fan Allan “Butterball” Canard.

In unrelated news, the midterm elections can’t get here fast enough.


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Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017  Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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