President Trump Orders FBI To Investigate The 13th Amendment

President Trump Orders FBI To Investigate The 13th Amendment October 1, 2018


Washington DC – President Trump ordered the FBI to investigate the 13th Amendment of the United States Constitution. President Trump stated his desire to “Get to the truth” about the amendment that ended slavery after the Civil War.

Kanye West Is The Inspiration

Many consider Kanye West’s recent tweets about the 13the Amendment as the inspiration for Trump’s decision. Recently, the rap superstar tweeted this reflection:

this represents good and America becoming whole again. We will no longer outsource to other countries. We build factories here in America and create jobs. We will provide jobs for all who are free from prisons as we abolish the 13th amendment. Message sent with love

Of course, this wasn’t the first time Mr. West courted controversy. In the past he asserted slavery was a choice.  And most recently he proudly stated his support for President Trump after his performance on Saturday Night Live.

FBI Reaction

”We don’t know what President Trump expects us to do with this,” Junior Director of the FBI Andrew Canard stated. “Part of me wonders if he wants us to deport it to Mexico,” he mused.

The FBI has a lot on its plate, including looking into bad-boy, frat-boy, beer fanatic Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

To make matters worse, there are rumors from the White House President Trump is going to order the FBI to investigate Wendy’s claim that McDonald’s only uses fresh beef on its quarter pounders and all its other burgers use flash frozen meat.

In unrelated news, GOP senators have yet to decide what century we are all going to live in.


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