President Trump Ends Citizenship For All Americans

President Trump Ends Citizenship For All Americans November 1, 2018

 

Washington DC – President Trump signed an executive order at 9 AM Eastern Time altering the status of every single American. Before the signing what is named the Freedom Forever Executive Order most people living in the United States were citizens. Afterward, those people are citizens no more. They are all subjects in Donald Trump’s increasingly imperial oligarchy.

”The difference between being a subject and a citizen can be murky,” mused Professor Andrew Canard of the Theological Institute Of Theology. “Brits are considered subjects. They vote and enjoy the freedoms one considers to be the norm for free societies. This new classification of Americans as subjects, however, is a marked change from the past.”

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

Donald Trump’s Freedom Forever Executive Order changes many aspects of living in the United States. Here is a small list:

  • Every household in the Empire of the United States must have a shrine dedicated to the Lord Protector of the Faith. Every day a small amount of Trump Brand Incense must be burned and all within the house must chant “Trump is LORD.”
  • Reporters are not subjects. In an attempt to be multicultural, President/Lord Protector Trump took a page from the traditional culture of the subcontinent. Members of the press are now officially untouchables. With their new status they must get each and every story reviewed by the Ministry of Truth headed by *Alex Jones.
  • Voting will continue. States will no longer be in charge of ballots within their borders. The federal government will produce Universal Ballots (UB). These ballots will have two choices each and every election: Trump or The Bigly House. No one knows what Bigly Houses are but sources state they’ve been decorated in the classic gulag fashion.

Americans Are Elated

It just isn’t just the rank and file fascists who are happy with the changes. In a snap poll 88% of Americans state they weren’t using their basic rights anyway. The poll also shows that as long as Amazon keeps delivering, then the populace will be happy to give up everything to the oligarchy.

Meanwhile, Canada is seeking a formal divorce with North America.

*One of my Patrons gave me the premise for that joke. 

 

 

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Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017  Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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