Honolulu, Hawaii — While taking a family vacation with the entire Trump clan, Donald Jr. suffered a surfing injury and was rushed to an area hospital.
The accident occurred in the middle of an all paid vacation funded by President Trump’s Russian business operatives. “They told me I’m doing an excellent job,” President Trump declared, “and they donated a free a trip all expenses paid for me and the fam.”
Donald Jr. knows his way around the savage waves of Washington DC and NYC, but he never experienced the surf around America’s favorite state. Little brother Eric never guessed big bro Donald would take a spill like that — especially since Eric gave him a good luck tiki idol necklace.
The only person not surprised by the Donald Jr’s mishap is 12-year-old Barron Trump. “I keep telling them the tiki idol they found at the construction site is cursed. But, surprise surprise no one listened to me.”
Barron went on to say everyone who possessed the tiki idol has been the victim of bad luck. Ivanka woke up to a tarantula crawling on her. A picture in the hotel room fell off the wall and almost struck Barron. And Eric woke up being, well, Eric.
Doctors held Donald Jr overnight just to make sure he was OK. “We see surfing accidents all the time here,” stated Dr. Canard. “Also, that tiki idol needs to return to the ancient burial site of Hawaiian kings. Only then will the curse be lifted.”
Dad Donald and Stepmom Melania are shrugging their shoulders at the hijinks their family is having while enjoying the islands. “These are brown people I like. They’re far away from real America,“ President Trump quipped while sipping a raspberry lime rickey at the pool. Melania nodded. She was reflecting how Valium really does make her husband almost tolerable.The Trump family is due back in Washington DC soon. House Democrats are hoping the Trumps bring the tiki idol back with them.
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.