Washington DC – White House sources leaked a memo to the press today. The document states to all White House staffers subjects they shouldn’t bring up with President Donald Trump.
“I know from personal experience what happens if one of these topics are brought up with the commander-in-chief,” one anonymous staffer said. “Trump is mercurial under normal circumstances. When “provoked” he becomes apoplectic.”
Here are the 10 topics you can’t bring up with the President of the United States. The memo did not put them in any order. It warns that each one on the list is as bad as the other.
- Saying Puerto Ricans are citizens.
- Hearing White Guy Americans say they are privileged due to gender and color.
- New Mexico (just as bad as Mexico version 1.0)
- Health Care for pets. Cats and dogs are going to suffer just like American hetero sapiens.
- Never roll your “R”s. One time Jared Kushner pronounced Puerto Rico incorrectly. President Trump made sure Ivanka didn’t give him sexy time for a month.
- “Curvy” Barbie Dolls — why couldn’t they just let Barbie have a traditional American anorexia?
- Solar Power. (It’s just socialism from the sky.)
- Lady sized space suits. It’s a waste of money, and you can’t grab them by the p*ssy in those things.
- Fake hate crimes. They take away from all the good work white supremacists are doing in this country.
- That Captain Marvel movie. Captain Marvel was manspreading. Very disturbing.