Washington DC – President Donald Trump tweeted the Democrat witch hunt against him will pale against the witch hunt he’s planning against them.
Muller’s show is over. I won. Pelosi and Schumer don’t know how to spell which hunt. I’m going to show them how to do it right. Pitchforks. Torches. FOX News dog whistles. And corgis. They will sniff out the whiches.
In response, The Welsh Corgi Association officially stated using corgis for political purposes that have nothing to do with the Queen of England is strictly against its bylaws. It does not condone any corgi-related witch hunts.
FOX News reports how the GOP is hoping to attack the perceived enemies of the Trump administration. Senator Lindsey Graham is calling for a new special prosecutor to investigate the FBI:
“I’d like to find somebody, like a Mr. Mueller, that can look into what happened with the FISA warrants, the counterintelligence investigation. Am I right to be concerned? It seems pretty bad on its face—but there are some people that are never going to accept the Mueller report, but by any reasonable standard, Mueller thoroughly investigated the Trump campaign. You cannot say that about the other side of the story,” Graham told reporters Monday.
“I hope Mr. Barr will appoint somebody outside the current system to look into these allegations, somebody we all trust, and let them do what Mueller did,” he continued, adding that he has been calling for the appointment of a second special counsel since 2017 to investigate “whether or not a counterintelligence investigation was opened as a back door to spy on the Trump campaign.”
President Trump declared his people are ready to use the best spectral evidence available. All options are on the table. Several anti-witch dunking arms are being built on the shores of the Potomac.
Andrew Canard is White House Chief of Taradiddles. “How can Republicans just sit back while Democrats do all the witch hunting?” he said. “It’s time to let America be great again. And that means enjoying some old fashioned mob justice.”
*While the Republicans are threatening a counter investigation, President Trump isn’t calling for a witch hunt (well, he isn’t using that term). No one is building dunking arms on the Potomac — yet.