5 Parenting Tips In A Post Mueller Report World

5 Parenting Tips In A Post Mueller Report World April 2, 2019
Are your kids going to be competitive? The secret is cheating. These two gerrymandered the other team and won the big game!

 

Robert Mueller’s report is finished. From 2017 to 2019 the special prosecutor and his team worked diligently. The report is over 300 hundred pages. As per the law, Attorney General William Barr has possession of the document.

At some point in time the American people may be lucky enough to see a copy?

Until then we have Barr saying Trump did nothing wrong. Everything is fine. Go about your business as usual, thank you very much.

Parents, how do we change our strategy with our children in the dystopian light of this brave new Kafkaesque world we’re in? Where President Trump can admit to firing then FBI Director James Comey because the latter wasn’t going to stop an investigation on the former? And on live TV no less.

Here are some tips any parent can use:

  1. When playing Monopoly with your kids, make sure you cheat. And don’t hide the fact you’re cheating.

  2. If your child’s team loses a game, tell that little whippersnapper to blame that kid from one of the Mexican countries.

  3. When doing #1 record it and put in on YouTube so all can see. Do follow up videos calling your children liars and crooks. Remember, kids learn by example.

  4. Use your influence to get in good with the vice principal of your kid’s school. Whenever Little Billy takes a test make sure the exam goes straight to the attorney general  vice principal. The vice principal will tell the teacher whether your kid got an A+ or an A double plus good.

  5. If for some reason #4 doesn’t work out and your kid gets a bad grade, make sure your budding Rhodes Scholar blames the black kid.

And remember, trying to inculcate a sense of decency in your kid is child abuse  in Trump’s America. Make sure they are ready to compete with the gaggles of sociopaths being raised in the spirit of Trump: Art of the Deal.

 

 


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