Reykjavik, Iceland – The parliament of this small island country voted unanimously to make its national anthem Atheism is Unstoppable. The change takes place immediately. It will play during sporting events, government functions, and every day at the start of school.
Atheism is Unstoppable takes the place of the traditional Iceland hymn, Iceland, My Frigid Wonderland. Many residents in this country of 330,000 came to believe the rampant anti-Sweden verses in the old anthem are a relic of the past. In a 2017 poll 85% stated they had serious misgivings about the lines that refer to Swedes as sheep buggering cod lovers.
Renowned composer Andrew Kanard penned the verses and tune. And while the song praises the scientific method, he wrote the song in a fit of inspiration. “I just finished reading Richard Dawkins’ The Selfish Gene for the fifth time,” he explained, “and I felt a sudden urge to sing the praises of atheism.”
Iceland’s new national anthem sings about famous atheists. A version of Aristotle’s famous quote “Men create gods in their own image” is included in verse two. Kanard changed the line to “Humanity creates gods in their own image” in order to make Atheism is Unstoppable less sexist and more inclusive.
Although a vast majority of those living in Iceland approve of the change, there are murmurs of discontent. A vocal minority see the chorus chanting about English actor Daniel Radcliffe a bit much. “Sure, he’s an atheist. Good for him. But it’s going to sound dated when my grandkids group up, won’t it?” one concerned senior said.The small Icelandic Catholic community is up in arms over what they call Catholic persecution. Seven Catholic protestors descended on parliament. They demanded a different national song for Icelandic Catholics. They pointed out it was only reasonable for the country to have a different national anthem for Catholics since they are the one true faith. Anything less is bigotry.
Catholic clergy aren’t sure what their Icelandic national anthem would sound like. However, the principle of not telling law enforcement about suspicious priests would be a cornerstone of the lyrics.
Other countries are taking note of Iceland’s embrace of rationality and atheism. And they don’t like it.
Here are several quotes from world leaders regarding this issue:
- “America the beautiful is America the Goddy. Don’t forget that ice losers.” – President Trump
- ”Atheists are terrorists. The make terror on the Qur’an.” – Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman
- “Brexit. Brexit. Brexit.” – British Prime Minister Theresa May
In an official statement, the government of Iceland reassured they won’t be exporting “Icy Brexit anti-Islamic terror.” Rather, they plan to live peacefully continue singing Atheism is Unstoppable.