‘England Is Going To Be OUR Colony’ Boasts Trump

‘England Is Going To Be OUR Colony’ Boasts Trump August 16, 2019


Washington DC – The United Kingdom is on its way out of the European Union (EU). The country compromising England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland is either going to have a trade deal with the EU, or it isn’t when it leaves. However, America is in the wings ready to make a free trade deal with the Brits.

The Guardian reports on the recent conversation with US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and UK foreign secretary Dominic Raab:

“Of course, America is our single largest bilateral trading partner,” Raab said. “President Trump has made clear again that he wants an ambitious free trade agreement with UK. So I hope we can make that happen as soon as possible after we leave the EU on 31 October.”

Many in Britain are eyeing the possible deal with the States with caution. What would the US demand? There are fears about dubious American food products inundating the country. With the nation trying to forget about its past reputation as having the worst food in Western Europe, will it now be a second home to Kentucky Fried Chicken’s Cheetos Chicken Sandwich?

Taking time out from energizing his political base with racism, President Trump decided to energize his political base with gold olde fashioned American Imperialism.

“England used to own the United States,” Trump told a crowd of fans. “Guess what? The Queen is on the other foot now. We’re making America great again and making England OUR colony.”

President Trump continued to say he hopes to have the Queen of England make regular appearances at Disney World. What better way to rev up the American economy than to have Elizabeth II ride in Cinderella’s Pumpkin Carriage?

There’s been no official response from UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson.


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Yes, the UK and the US will probably sign a trade deal soon. However, the bit about Trump referring to England as a colony is satirical (currently).

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