Washington DC – It was a typical day in the nation’s capital. Birds were chirping. Kids were back in school. And lobbyists were busy buying off politicians. This normal hustle and bustle was suddenly interrupted with the news that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg punched President Trump in the throat.
“I saw everything,” said a stunned onlooker. “One perfect punch and he went down like a sack of wet and tattered copies of the Constitution.”
The incident occurred at Katz’s Deli, a traditional Jewish deli where many of Washington’s elite stop by to get a sandwich. Supreme Justice Ginsburg was reportedly waiting patiently in line to place her order.
”She likes the pastrami on dark rye with a dash of hot mustard,” reported deli professional Andrew Canard. “I could’ve told Trump no one should get between Justice Ginsburg and her sandwich when she’s hungry.”
White House insiders state President Trump was taking a break after signing the most recent anti-school lunch executive order when he decided to stop in for a bite to eat. Seeing the long line, Trump yelled out “Executive privilege” and went to the front.
Justice Ginsburg informed President Trump that’s not how executive privilege works. Trump told her when the head of the only important branch of government wants pastrami on white bread with extra mayo, then people step aside.
No one knows for sure how long Justice Ginsburg harbored a deep hatred for the commander-in-chief. Perhaps she kept her contempt so locked down even she wasn’t aware of it. Regardless, that pure rage erupted at that moment.
Trump was rushed to a local hospital and is in stable condition.
Justice Ginsburg grabbed her sandwich, declared she was immune from prosecution because she was a Justice, and gave the staff a hefty tip.
One onlooker commented, “She didn’t even break a sweat.”
The White House has not yet commented on the attack.