Trump Defends Hurricane Dorian Trajectory Map

Trump Defends Hurricane Dorian Trajectory Map September 5, 2019
Trump is fighting Hurricane Dorian and all other enemies of the Fatherland.

Washington DC – Media attention is fixated on the map President Trump used to show Hurricane Dorian’s trajectory. Many believe the map was doctored. President Trump made several statements defending his map, his integrity, and his 1,000 year Reich.

”Fake news. It’s all fake news by loser CNN and failing New York Times,” he declared to reporters. I used a beautiful map to show America the beautiful being great again.”

Journalists present seemed a bit more confused than usual. After all, President Trump’s map was in all actuality the flag of Nazi Germany. Where was the United States of America?

”You people don’t have vision. I beat Hillary because I have vision,” Trump retorted. “Squint your eyes, and you can see America.”

A FOX News reporter stated he could see the US clearly.

Other news professionals present weren’t so sure. Was this another example of Trump trolling liberals? Could this be another distraction? What if he was rallying his political base. After the press conference, reporters did a quick vote, and everyone (except that fellow from FOX News) agreed it was all three.

Rank and file Trump supporters love the new installment of the Trump Show. Among evangelicals support for President Trump is 110% which leaves pollsters confused. How can anyone have 110%? Evangelicals say it’s a miracle.

Republicans are quickly getting in line and supporting the commander-in-chief. Some GOP lawmakers believe Trump’s map should replace the world map in all classrooms. Secretary DeVos endorses the measure as long as classroom globes are turned into fascist frisbees.

Anonymous sources in the White House report Trump is ecstatic with his latest domination of the 24-hour news cycle. No one knows what else may be up his sleeves.

One insider quipped, “You can bet it has something to do with Nazis.”

 


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