‘Emperor Trump?’ President Demands Royal Title In UK Trade Deal

‘Emperor Trump?’ President Demands Royal Title In UK Trade Deal January 10, 2020
Trump isn't happy with democracy. Why not try monarchy?
Queen Elizabeth wonders if she will have to commit regicide.

Britain is looking for a trade deal with the US. President Trump wants an imperial title.

Washington DC – The United Kingdom is leaving the European Union and looking to write new trade agreements with old partners. President Trump is welcoming the opportunity to craft a deal of a lifetime that puts America first. While the media reports a new agreement may jeopardize Britain’s healthcare system, the real story is Donald Trump’s power grab. We may soon see Donald Trump President of the United States AND Emperor of the United Kingdom.

Emperor Trump

Sources in the White House confirm any trade deal must have a clause that officially proclaims Donald Trump by the Grace of God, Emperor of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas, Defender of the Faith. His title will include the overlordship of the Commonwealth as well.

Queen Elizabeth II and the royal family will still maintain their titles and more importantly their lifestyle funded by the British taxpayer. However, each and every one of them will need to publicly proclaim their allegiance to Emperor Trump. They will be expected to pledge fealty to him on bended knee when he gets crowned in Westminster Abbey.

Not only will President Trump get a royal title, but he will also get a hefty paycheck for services rendered. The sum hasn’t been disclosed. Insiders in the British government say social services will have to be cut back in order to pay it.

Donald Trump is reassuring the British public all the property he is personally getting from the deal will feature prominent casinos. Anyone caught hunting on the imperial property will be publically flogged.

America Responds

Democrats are crying foul at the newest scandal. They are demanding Trump stop his megalomaniacal grab for power.

Republicans are standing by their man. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell points put there isn’t anything in the US Constitution that says a sitting President can’t become Emperor of the United Kingdom. Evangelicals are excited their leader is now going to be legally recognized as Defender of the Faith. GOP strategists believe Trump is sure to win in 2020 because Americans love the British monarchy.

The future looks murky. And corrupt.

In related news, York Cardiology’s Sanjay Gupta talks about the best advice he ever received.

 

 


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