President Trump’s Blood Test Results Leaked

President Trump’s Blood Test Results Leaked March 31, 2020
How healthy is President Trump?

Washington DC- We are all living in an era of heightened health awareness. While COVID-19 is making us pay attention to any cough or sneeze, other health issues haven’t gone away. The White House medical team is making sure the commander-in-chief isn’t going to be felled by any pathogen.

An anonymous source within the administration leaked the results from President Trump’s recent blood test. It doesn’t look good. Donald Trump tested positive for stupid.

Doctor Andrew Canard teaches at the Canard Medical School. He’s looked at the findings and had this to say.

Stupid is a lot like cancer. Cancer causes out of control growth in cells. That creates chemical markers in blood. Stupid causes an out of control growth in the brain’s cretinous lobe. The expansion of the cretinous lobe produces an abnormal amount of puerile in the bloodstream.

If the test results are real, then President is off the charts stupid.

Doctor Canard went on to say that such a high level of stupid is likely to be contagious.

GOP Rallies Around The Chief Idiot

Republicans are celebrating that their leader is a dolt. Once FOX News reported the blood test, Trump’s approval ratings for likely GOP voters went from 88% to 109%. One anonymous analyst noted, “Trump’s fans are likely to have high concentrations of puerile. They can’t do math.”

Spontaneous rallies erupted in red states celebrating traditional American values. Bonfires were lit with the assistance of library books teaching evolution. People sang the wrong lyrics to the national anthem. GOP supporters started a nonprofit organization to fight the scourge of smarties.

Experts expect the country’s epidemic of stupid will continue far into the future. Some believe it’s impossible to contain the dumb. It’s going to have to run its course and at some point in the future people will get sick and tired of it.

In related news, Iceland releases an atheist ad.

 


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