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COVID-19 Mutates Into President Donald Trump

COVID-19 Mutates Into President Donald Trump May 19, 2020


Mike Pence’s “Milkgate” is the newest White House scandal.


Every virus mutates. The changes in a virus’s DNA may not always pose a big challenge for those the disease threatens. However, there are times when such alterations do cause serious issues. For example, scientists develop a flu vaccine every year to fight the strain they believe will be most prominent. If they guess wrong, then more people may die due to the fact that year’s flu vaccine doesn’t offer enough protection.

Reports state the coronavirus just mutated into the most deadly, irritating, and, yes, pervy version possible. COVID-19 mutated into US President Donald Trump.

Sources at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) state they are getting a deluge of phone calls, emails, and text messages that Donald Trump spontaneously appeared out of phlegm.

“I’m helping a COVID-19 positive patient,” one nurse stated. “They sneezed. It was a big wet one, too. Suddenly, President Donald J. Trump rose out of the big loogie saying, ‘Obama is responsible for COVID-19.'”

Professor Andrew Canard is in charge of the CDC efforts to fight this new version of COVID-19. His analysis of the situation is grim.

“My God, one was bad enough. Now we have a pandemic of Donald Trumps to fight?” he declared while running out the door to catch a private jet to New Zealand.

Experts state this Trump/COVID virus can only be fought with a functioning public health infrastructure, a world-class education system, and a population not dominated by narcissistic ninnies.

These were Professor Canard’s parting words, “So long and thanks for all the fish!”

In related news, Joe Biden sucker punches Donald Trump.


 

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