Washington DC – Unknown jokesters within the White House created a fake virus called “homovirus,” and Vice President Mike Pence is terrified of it. Sources state Pence now wears a face mask constantly and refuses to take it off.
Genesis Of The Joke
Intern Andy Canard states fake news stories found their way to Pence’s desk describing a virus originating from San Fransisco turning repressed gay men who believe they’re straight into full-blown out of the closet homosexuals
“I don’t know who would do such a thing,” Andy remarked while definitely not snickering. “But if there were an award for pranks, then this one should take the prize.”
Many think the joke is in response to Pence refusing to wear a face mask while visiting the Mayo Clinic.
When Vice President Mike Pence walked into the Mayo Clinic on Tuesday, he wasn’t wearing a face mask.
Everyone else in the building was, according to reporters who were traveling with him. After all, it has been the policy at the renowned Rochester, Minnesota, facility since April 13. They even say they’ll provide one.Pence was told of the new rules before he visited, the clinic said on Twitter, a post that was subsequently deleted.“Mayo Clinic had informed @VP of the masking policy prior to his arrival today,” they had written.But as he visited a blood and plasma donation center inside the building, Pence was bare-faced.
Mike Pence Today
Sources state the Vice President is doing everything in his power not to catch the homovirus.
- He ordered all the homogenized milk out of the White House.
- His staff is not allowed to say the word Homo sapiens.
- Homonyms are banned.
“He wears a face mask while taking a shower,” Mother/Wife said. “Even for Mikey, that’s odd behavior.”
No one is sure how long it will take for Mike Pence to realize there is no such thing as the homovirus. Many hope it will take a while.
“As long as he is wearing a face mask, everything is cool,” one anonymous intern quipped.
In related news, President Trump tweeted “Oldies will have to die.”