Boston, MA – President Donald Trump’s personal policy of not wearing masks while visiting various facilities came crashing into a wall of common sense, organized resistance, and angry children today.
The commander-in-chief was in Boston, Massachusetts, and visiting the world-renowned Boston Children’s Hospital. The healthcare institution affiliated with the Harvard Medical School and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute gives acute care to the youngest among us. Anyone entering the facility must wear a face mask due to COVID-19. Any outbreak could cost the lives of the medically fragile children getting treatment.
The hospital wasn’t on the President’s official tour of the city. However, Trump is known for his spontaneity and thought it would be great for him to “see the kids” and lift their spirits.
Sources within Children’s Hospital report they were informed about the visit 15 minutes before Trump’s arrival.
Dr. Andrew Canard has been working at the hospital for twenty years. He’s seen a lot in his time. What he wasn’t going to tolerate was someone getting his kids sick.
“That idiot wasn’t going to walk around without a face mask,” he snorted. “I just finished working a ten-hour shift, and wasn’t in the mood.”
Dr. Canard organized the ambush.
When President Trump arrived Dr. Canard informed him of the face mask policy. Trump waved him off and said, “I’m fine.”
The President and his team were then led into the trap.
Within minutes the group was surrounded by an outer ring of nurses and doctors. They stood silent.
However, the inner ring of resistance featured patients.
They were small.
They were angry.
And they had masks on.
“Kids love hitting pots and pans together,” Dr. Canard noted. “Angry kids? Well, that’s just mother’s milk for them.”
President Trump attempted to yell over the din to no avail.
Seeing he was in a no-win situation destined to blow up on Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok, he decided to beat a hasty retreat.
Of course, that’s when the rain of tomatoes, pudding, and jello began. It turns out the kids weren’t just equipped with pots and pans. They were also armed with biological weapons of messy destruction from the kitchen.
The President and his team left the hospital.
In retrospect, maybe using kids to fight off the clownishly dictatorial President of the United States was wrong. Dr. Canard notes all those in the resistance were medically cleared to leave the hospital that very day.
In related news, Trump tweets “Oldies will have to die.”