Washington DC – Amy Cooper, the white NYC woman caught on camera calling the police on a black man and falsely stating he was attacking her is now a member of the Trump White House. Anonymous staffers state she is a full-time consultant on racial matters and phone etiquette.
“President Trump needed someone with a “can-do attitude,” one staffer said. “Amy has that! I’ve never heard anyone use the N-word so much while working a copier.”
CNN reported how Christian Cooper was reported to the police because he was birding while black (BWB).
Amy Cooper was walking her dog Monday morning while Christian Cooper (no relation) was bird-watching at a wooded area of Central Park called the Ramble. They both told CNN their dispute began because her dog was not on a leash, contrary to the Ramble’s rules, according to the park’s website.Christian Cooper recorded video of part of their encounter and posted it on Facebook, where it has since been shared thousands of times and became a trending topic on Twitter. In the video, he is largely silent while she frantically tells police he is threatening her and her dog.“I’m taking a picture and calling the cops,” Amy Cooper is heard saying in the video. “I’m going to tell them there’s an African American man threatening my life.”
President Trump Steps In
Ms. Cooper was fired from her position at Franklin Templeton. Anonymous ex-coworkers were quick to say they are not unhappy to see her go. “Amy has problems. She’d play Birth of a Nation while we were doing Zoom happy hours,” one confused coworker mentioned. “What was weird is how she made up lyrics to the soundtrack.”
Seeing a fine American was in trouble with fake news and the lamestream media, President Trump immediately offered Ms. Cooper a job. Monday-Friday from 9-5 she is to monitor CNN’s Don Lemon and make sure he doesn’t get “too uppity.”
“She’s a fine American. You know there are two sides to a story, folks. We’re only hearing from that sap who goes bird watching,” Trump stated. “Well, I’ve taken care of everything.”
Political professionals point out President Trump has taken care of everything except the economy, COVID-19, international relations, and not being a crook.
In related news, Joe Biden sucker punches President Trump.