President Donald Trump Blows Up The Smithsonian

President Donald Trump Blows Up The Smithsonian October 20, 2020


Washington DC –  President Donald J Trump is trailing Joe Biden in national as well as many state polls. The man who came into office by saying and doing the most extreme things is looking at his old playbook to get a second term. Recently, he verbally attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci and made the accusation his *democratic rival Joe Biden would listen to scientists. Realizing words alone would not energize his base, President Trump ordered the demolition of the Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History.

The Museum of Natural History was once an impressive building. Millions of Americans visited it yearly. Boasting 1.5 million square feet and staffed with 1,000 workers it displayed an impressive assortment of plants, animals, and fossils.

Many evangelicals have a problem with what they consider misinformation by the Museum of Natural History. For example, no exhibit shows human beings riding Stegosaurus dinosaurs. Another issue is the institution’s intransigence concerning the age of the Earth. Worst of all is the adherence to the fake news of human evolution.

“I blew up the museum for Jesus,” shouted Trump to supporters at a maskless rally. “Joe Biden wants your kids to get dumbed down by science. Not me!”

No one knows for sure who set the explosives that destroyed priceless artifacts. While some believe it may have been the Proud Boys, most people know that group can’t even tie their own shoes. More likely suspects are any one of the agencies that report directly to the President (ICE, Homeland Security, etc.).

Republican senators are refusing to comment on the newest illegal act committed by the President. When asked what they think most will say something along the lines of, “I haven’t seen that tweet.”

In related news, Barron Trump has a weird fixation with Mayor Pete.

 

*The small d is intentional.


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