Moscow, Russia – The Supreme Court of the Russian Federation (SCOTRF) ruled in favor of United States President Donald J. Trump against the United States of America. The 9-0 victory reconfirms Moscow’s support of Trump. Legal scholars on news sites like OAN and Newsmax openly wonder if this legal victory warrants a declaration of martial law in order to fix the crooked election system here in the US.
The White House brought the case to SCOTRF in late November. Knowing time was of the essence, Chief Justice Boris Badenov made sure there would be a ruling before it was too late. Rudy Giuliani presented wild accusations, lies, spectral evidence, hearsay, and fibs via Zoom since he was so busy doing the same here in the US. Russian President Vladimir Putin noted what Mr. Giuliani stated and was impressed. Putin jotted down some notes and informed the justices on how to vote. No one was surprised when SCOTRF unanimously voted in favor of autocracy.
Political pundits are by and large saying Stick a fork in Trump, ‘cuz he is done. Democrats are putting more and more pressure on the GOP leading to many defections from Trump. Currently, the only supporters still fighting for another four years are Rudy Giuliani and Eric Trump. It seems no one has told Eric the election already happened and Eric is still campaigning for his father.
A vast majority of Americans are breathing easy. The likelihood of everything falling apart is getting less likely by the day. People are looking forward to going back to normal again. Of course, normal means living in a racist third world country with a first-class military. But that’s OK as long as Netflix doesn’t jack up its prices too fast.
In related news, Barron Trump is grounded for watching CNN.