Trump Healthcare Plan Found

Trump Healthcare Plan Found January 23, 2021


Washington DC – President Biden is making the White House his own. He’s replaced the painting of Andrew Jackson with Benjamin Franklin’s image. And the political housecleaning the new administration has to do is epic. Donald J. Trump and his staff had no plan to distribute COVID-19 vaccines. The Biden team needs to develop a system from scratch.

Trump left another surprise for his successor. One of the cleaning staff found the 45th President’s unveiled healthcare plan under the cushions of the couch in the oval office.

Trump’s Missing America First Healthcare Plan

It seemed like a running joke. Journalists asked then President Trump when he was going to unveil his plan to remake healthcare. His answer seemed to always be “Two weeks.”

MSNBC reported on the story back in Sept. 2020 

Many pundits believed there never was a plan. It seemed as if Trump simply wanted to destroy the Affordable Care Act because he wanted to destroy everything Obama did out of personal animosity. However, the newly discovered paperwork shows the Republicans did have a scheme to revolutionize how Americans get medical services. Those papers were simply lost.

Republican aide Andrew Canard admits no one wanted to admit the truth. “Look, do you want to tell millions of Americans you came up with a kick-butt policy only to lose it?” he said. “Not only did we lose it, but there was only one copy with no computer backup. It’s embarrassing.”

What Trumpcare Looks Like

What does America First Healthcare look like? Trumpcare takes the most innovative developments from red states and nationalizes them.

Health insurance for Confederate statues and Confederate living statues

The order also covers the so-called Confederate living statues. These living statues are actors who can hold one position for hours while appearing to be a monument honoring any of the traitors who fought the United States of America during the Civil War. Of course, to get the free medical treatment the actors will have to be dressed as a statue at the time of their medical appointment.

Single Prayer Healthcare

The state [Mississippi] legislature passed the Religious Freedom Health Act (RFHA) late last night. State representatives and senators voted overwhelmingly for the proposal. Dubbed Single Prayer Healthcare, politicians believe this statute will help working families.

Andrew Canard is the representative from the sixth district. He has a firmly held belief hospitals and doctors’ offices need to have more Jesus:

Just as we’re having more school shootings because Jesus isn’t allowed in the classroom, we have more whooping cough, polio, and uppity women who don’t know their places because of the Savior being absent when the doctor checks you out. Know Jesus and find peace. Know Jesus and avoid stage 4 cancer.

Holy Hands Mammograms 

Reverend Knob is the first person to say he isn’t healing anyone. Rather, the Holy Spirit anointed his hands to act as heavenlymammograms. “An angel told me to go out and diagnose breast cancer,” he said. “But I should only do it to women who are 8s through 10s. Jesus only wants me to touch the attractive ladies.”

He went on to say that he was only the divine vessel and doing God’s bidding.

Democratic operatives are not going to use any of the proposals.

In related news, Barron Trump is now an emancipated minor.

 

*The premise for this post — Trumpcare found under a sofa cushion — is the brainchild of Aunt Jer. Aunt is a regular watcher of Laughing in Disbelief’s morning show that runs 9 am EST Monday-Friday. Thanks for the brilliant idea, Aunt Jer!


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