Washington, DC – Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene from Georgia’s 14 district is picking another fight. In the past, she’s attacked rhyme and reason by spreading QAnon conspiracies and stoked the fires of antisemitism by raging against Jewish space lasers. And today this Republican politician is picking a fight with the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).
Her issue with the CDC is around its newest guidance. The public health organization recently released new guidelines for social distancing in schools. Instead of having to have six feet between children, the CDC now says it’s OK for kids to be as little as 3 feet apart.
And what problem does Greene have with that?
In the same document, the CDC also included new rules regarding the safe distance one should be while personally interacting with Marjorie Taylor Greene. The new recommendation is a full 20 feet.
Professor Andrew Canard heads the CDC, and he had this to say about the new regulations. “We’re serious. Don’t get near to her. Stay far away from her as possible.”
The Science Behind The New Guidance
Professor Canard notes there are at least three studies that show the deleterious effects of being too close to Representative Greene. The study from Miskatonic University shows wearing a facemask is no protection for the ears. “You stand a chance of getting QAnonitus in the middle ear canal if you’re unlucky,” Canard said.
Another real danger caused by being close to Greene was exposed by the research from the Theological Institute of Technology. Scientists call the malady Intellectual Scurvy. While garden variety scurvy is caused by not ingesting enough vitamin C, this cognitive version of scurvy is caused by the malnourishment of the brain due to ingesting too much intellectual garbage.
The third report comes from the Rufus T. Firefly Institute and shows that while Greene is a threat the band of toxic followers and compatriots also are dangerous. “If you don’t catch something from her you probably will from one of her lackeys and lickspittles,” the report states.
Democrats Are Trying To Expel Representative Greene
Democrats were able to keep Greene from sitting in House committees, and they are still trying to expel her altogether. The new CDC guidance may just be the weapon they need to get the job done.
“There’s no way we can do business and maintain a 20-foot distance while she is in the chamber,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. “She needs to go.”
In related news, Tucker Carlson loses a major sponsor.
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