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Marjorie Taylor Greene Attacks Jewish Deli

Marjorie Taylor Greene Attacks Jewish Deli May 26, 2021


Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene physically attacked Laitman’s Deli in Brookline, MA yesterday. The Qanon conspiracist kicked the structure repeatedly screaming, “We will not be erased!” The incident lasted 20 minutes until local police arrived on the scene and arrested her.

Greene’s office released a statement yesterday stating she was heading to the deli to exact revenge. Mortimer Laitman, the owner, was in a court struggle with a Christian customer over religious liberty and a state court ruled in favor of the Holocaust survivor.

Patheos reported the story back in 2018.

The incident occurred yesterday at 1:45 pm. Mrs. Kelly placed her regular order at the counter. While waiting, she decided to be spontaneous and ordered a pound of lox. Mort Jr. was manning the slicer. He remarked how much Mrs. Kelly and her husband were going to love the thinly sliced delicacy.

It was at that point everything went wrong.

”I’m using it for a fish fry. Cut it thick,” she declared.

Mort Jr immediately went to Mort the Elder and informed him of the situation. The Elder stated Mrs. Kelly would have to go somewhere else for her lox.

“You slice lox thin. You serve the lox with a bit of cream cheese on a nice bagel. What you don’t do is double bread it and fry it up like some gentile cod. It’s against my Jewish identity and Judaism itself,” snorted an irritated Elder Mort.

Representative Greene called such gastrointestinal acts of religious freedom “white genocide.”

Mr. Laitman said he plans to file charges and seeks to punish “the nut” to the fullest extent of the law.

In related news, God kills Tucker Carlson for being a chronic masturbator.

 


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