QAnon conspiracy theorists descended on a buybuyBABY store located near the South Shore Mall in Braintree, Massachusetts. They picketed the store that sells all manner of strollers, car seats, and other items little ones need. The reason for the protest? The church believes buybuyBABY is actually a megastore for abortions.
”It’s right in the name, bye-bye baby!” Andrea Canard shouted at confused shoppers. “This is where mothers kill their babies. Wake up, sheeple!”
Other church members aren’t sure the buybuyBABY chain of stores engages in mass abortions in the back room. They have other theories.
“They’re selling white babies to Jews! It’s right there in the name buy, buy baby!” another conspiracy zealot screamed. One shopper confronted this person and stated she understood how a crazy person might believe the store sells babies, but where did the Jew part come from? The delusional protester calmly stated, “Jews are too smart to put something like ‘White Babies for Jews’ on the sign. Jews know. Oh, they know.”
Here are other theories church members voiced concerning the nefarious business known as buybuyBABY:
- buybuyBABY purchases babies and turns them into “the gays.”
- The store spreads misinformation about God by not selling the book The Bernstein Bears Burn a Witch.
- buybuyBABY is close to the mall and the Target there is having an awesome sale on home goods, so why not do a protest while they’re close by?
After a hard day of protesting for Jesus, the mob left. Their next protest is supposedly at Bed Bath and Beyond.
In related news, the CEO of MyPillow says, “Bury your Bibles!”
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