Austin, Texas – Governor Gregg Abbott invoked an emergency order today giving him enhanced powers over the next three months. His first act was to permanently abolish the state legislature. No longer will state representatives and state senators serve and vote in the Lone Star State. In its place will be an advisory committee made up of evangelical pastors, CEOs from the fossil fuel industry, and owners of large herds of cattle.
Governor Abbott’s radical move is a response to state Democratic lawmakers walking out on a legislative session where Republicans were about to pass a law restricting voter access.
At around 10:45 p.m., the last remaining Democrats needed to keep a quorum of 100 members streamed out of the chamber. Debate on the bill abruptly stopped as Republicans huddled around Speaker Dade Phelan, R-Beaumont.
Rep. Carl Sherman, D-DeSoto, said they had no choice but to remove themselves from the process after Republicans told them they planned to cut off debate on the bill early.
“Unfortunately it looks like that the only option we have, according to a senior member of the Republican Party who said we would not have an opportunity to speak against the bill,” Sherman told The Dallas Morning News. “And that’s not a democracy to me. I guess they were sick and tired of hearing our views on this. They decided they were going to ram this down our throats.”
Professor Andrew Canard teaches Texas History And Crytopolicy at Texas Theological Institute of Technology (TTIT). His past books include Lone Star Fascism and Texas’ Electrical Grid, Snowstorms, And Yeti. He believes Governor Abbott may be able to get away with what is obviously an unconstitutional move. “Do you think the current United States Supreme Court is going to save democracy? Think again.”
Evangelicals and other white supremacists are applauding Abbott. Parades and celebrations dedicated to white power and Southern Baptist supremacy are scheduled around Texas in the next few days.
In related news, stand aside Jesus, the Bifle is the new Christian favorite.
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