Jerusalem – Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett vowed to punish the Vermont-based ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s. The company that was started in 1978 by the two men officially stated it would no longer sell its products in the occupied territories and East Jerusalem and thus causing an international firestorm. The very idea of their company being complicit in the systemic subjugation of the Palestinian people is not “in compliance with Ben & Jerry’s values.”
Israel’s Plan For Vengeance
Anonymous sources within the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) and the government revealed the three-point plan to bring the ice cream manufacturer to its knees.
- Settlements in Vermont The Israeli government plans to do to the Green Mountain state what it did to the West Bank. By sending mass groups of settlers Israel plans to create a state-within-a-state and thus disrupt the day-to-day business of native Vermonters.
- Erect a wall around the Scoop Shop Once settlers make Vermont their home, the IDF plans to wall off the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream store at the Waterbury factory. Armed guards will then dictate who will be served and who will not be. “We’ll see who gets the ice cream then,” laughed one member of the IDF.
- “Whatever else we Goddamned want” And that sums up the overall end goal of the plan in Vermont. Once power is achieved the everyday natives will have to suffer whatever injustices the colonizers will inflict.
“When you think about it, it’s kinda ironic,” noted Vermont native Andrew Canard. “After we abused the native peoples of this continent the shoe is on the other ice cream cone.”
In related news, prayer is the answer.
Stay in touch! Like Laughing in Disbelief on Facebook: