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The 3 Best Bibles According to Experts

The 3 Best Bibles According to Experts July 14, 2021


Recently, biblical scholars met at the First Annual Biblical Bible Conference. The main issue was deciding which version of the inerrant word of God is the best. After long debates and many prayer circles, the group decided on the top three versions of the Bible every Christian needs.

The Lorem Ipsum Bible

The Lorem Ipsum Bible (LIB) is incredibly popular with American evangelicals since no one in that community actually reads the Bible. Big glossy pictures keep Christians who do open the tome entertained.

Lipsum.com defines Lorem Ipsum to be  “simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry’s standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book.”

The “dummy text” is typically used Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nam at nisi risus. Duis vel lectus vitae dui varius suscipit nec sed dolor. Vivamus ac ex nisi. Fusce nunc justo, maximus id tempor quis, efficitur sed leo. Integer eu nisl iaculis, iaculis lectus at, aliquet lectus. Nulla facilisi. Nunc quis nunc arcu. Nulla non fermentum purus.

The Donald Trump Bible

The DTV contains 39 books of the Old Testament, 27 books of the New Testament, and the classic Trump: The Art of the Deal.

Evangelical scholars are celebrating the DTV. While many consider the King James Version to possess a “majesty style” the DTV has what’s being called a “Trumpian style.”

Professor Andrew Canard teaches theology at the Theological Institute of Technology (TIT). He states there are several unique characteristics of the DTV’s Trumpian style:

  • Rudy Giuliani makes a guest appearance in the Book of Revelation
  • Every word of Trump: The Art of the Deal is colored red and underlined.
  • Eric Trump is that ass Jesus rode into Jerusalem on.

Choose Your Own Adventure Jesus Bible

ParentingNest.com defines Choose Your Own Adventure Books as “These exciting books allowed the reader to make a choice that would change the outcome of the story. Read it more than once, make a different choice and it was like reading a whole new story.”

The Choose Your Own Adventure Jesus Bible (TCYOAJB) allows true believers to have their Jesus buy an assault rifle and storm the Capitol on January 6th. Other readers may have Jesus get his law degree and fight woke culture and critical race theory in the courts.

There are countless possibilities!

 

 


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