Washington DC – It’s supposed to be the day President Joe Biden is arrested by patriots and former President Trump is reinstated as President of the United States of America. MyPillow CEO and conspiracy theorist Mike Lindell has been standing alone outside the White House since dawn waiting for something to occur.
“It’s going to happen any minute! I can feel it,” Lindell told anyone who would listen. “Just you wait! Trump will be here and overturn the rigged election!”
Some well-meaning pedestrians offered him bottles of water because it’s going to be a hot day. Sources say Lindell refused them all saying that Jesus is his water and he has the power of pillows to keep him going.
Reuters.com explains the origins of why conservatives believe Trump will be back in the oval office:
The claims that Trump will be reinstated appear to be linked to the widely debunked QAnon conspiracy theory. Some supporters of QAnon, which espouses that former President Trump is secretly fighting a cabal of child-sex predators that includes prominent Democrats, Hollywood elites and “deep state” allies have claimed that Biden is not really president and that the military is secretly in power until Trump returns to office.
Professor Andrew Canard teaches at Miskatonic University. His books include Conservative Psychosis: The Trump Years and Mike Lindell’s Toxic Pillows. He believes the pillow magnate will choose another date when Trump isn’t reinstated today. “That’s how cults work,” Professor Canard said.
In related news, an 8-year-old is arrested by Governor Greg Abbott.
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