Branson, MO – MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell’s billionaire dream of flying into space on his own rocket was dashed into pieces this morning. The 60-foot tall prototype dubbed Pillow V veered off course and crashed into the TITANIC Museum on 76 Country Boulevard. No one was injured. However, the unmanned rocket did destroy the replica of the doomed ship.
“Nothing will stop Donald J. Trump being reinstated as President of the United States of America,” an optimistic Lindell said. “And nothing will stop me from getting into space on a Pillow starship!”
Eyewitnesses at the launch report the ship lifted off without a hitch. Lindell was joined with conservative personalities like Steve Bannon, Tucker Carlson, and Marjorie Taylor Greene. There was a minor incident before the launch when Greene and Bannon squared off on World War II. Bannon supposedly said the Germans lost the war in 1941 when the Wehrmacht failed to seize Moscow. Marjorie Taylor Greene shot back their side is going to eventually win the conflict.
For the first thirty seconds of its flight Pillow V seemed to be on course. However, the nose of the rocket pitched downward, sending it into downtown Branson. Residents from nearby towns reported hearing the explosion. The fire department quickly got the blaze under control.
No one knows for sure what went wrong with the device. A thorough investigation is expected to be completed in a few days.
In related news, FOX News personality Tucker Carlson was kicked off a flight.
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