Special Olympics Veteran Denies Christ

Special Olympics Veteran Denies Christ August 10, 2021

Marshfield, MA Special Olympics weightlifting veteran Mary Jones was simply enjoying her fruit smoothie at the food court in the mall when she was accosted by a born-again Christian. The very concerned Christian asked Mary if Jesus was her Lord and Savior. Mary quickly demurred and stated that the very fervent believer was wearing some very snazzy sneakers.

Undaunted and refusing to be distracted from the fate of Mary’s eternal soul, the born-again Christian handed her some information from her church. The big red letters on the front spelled out Are You Ready For Heaven or For Hell? 

Mary glanced over the information. She wasn’t impressed.

Her new friend said, “It reads, ‘Are you ready for heaven or for hell?'”

Mary did not say that she knows how to fucking read. She had grown so tired of telling people just because she has Down’s Syndrome doesn’t mean she can’t fucking read. She simply sucked on the straw to the strawberry smoothie and gave the follower of Christ a very knowing look that Mary knew would not be understood.

The born-again Christian opened up the handout and showed Mary how Jesus had died on the cross, was resurrected, and is coming back again to judge the world. When judgment day comes wouldn’t Mary want to go to heaven and live with Jesus and not suffer for eternity in hell?

Mary finished her strawberry smoothie and tossed it into a nearby trash receptacle. She then took the propaganda and placed it in her backpack. She took the paper because she didn’t want to engage with the very, very wrong person any longer than she had to. She thanked that very wrong person and walked outside to get the 59 bus that was going to be there in a few minutes.

As she left the food court Mary saw that the person who cared so much about her soul talking to someone else. She was sad for that very wrong person. After all, who believes that shit?


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