Washington DC- Florida Representative Matt Gaetz is in the news once again. Many middle school girls and their parents are breathing a collective sigh of relief that Gaetz is focused on ‘Representative Omicron’ and not underage girls. Yesterday Gaetz challenged the representative to a fight on the floor of the House.
“Representative Omicron, wherever you are, I am putting you on blast. Blast with my fists,” Gaetz yelled to a confused chamber of politicians. “I know you’re trying to shut down the economy. I’m saying this right now –not on my watch!”
Democrats and many Republicans looked and listened wondering whether or not Gaetz was pranking and/or trolling them. Within minutes it was clear that Gaetz really believes there is a blue state representative named Omicron and that person was in Gaetz’s trouble bubble.
A few GOP members subtly attempted to send messages to Gaetz about his misunderstanding. One wrote a message to him in black Sharpie saying, “Omicron is the name of the newest coronavirus variant you moron.”
The sign had no effect. Gaetz was on the Dunning-Kruger train and he was the conductor and engineer all at the same time.
“Outside after class! It’ll be just you and me and everyone watching!” Gaetz said.
Democrats were silent during the tirade. “I keep a bag of popcorn on me because Republicans go crazy so often,” said Massachusetts Representative Andrew Canard (*DS). “I like a gnosh while enjoying a show.”
In related news, this megachurch minister is fighting socialist cows.
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* Democratic Socialist