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Religious Leaders Sue Gravity Over ‘Religious Liberty’

Religious Leaders Sue Gravity Over ‘Religious Liberty’ December 10, 2021

Jackson, Mississippi – An evangelical minister is bringing a lawsuit against the Theory of Gravity due to its ‘interference with the Rapture’. Court documents show the man of God believes if it wasn’t for the invisible pull towards the center of the Earth he and his flock would be floating up to Heaven.

“Joe Biden and the Democrats are to blame,” said plaintiff Reverend Andrew Canard. “For too long the Satanists have kept us from Jesus.”

In a recent poll, 10 percent of Americans stated there should be a religious exemption to the physical laws of the universe. Not only should gravity take a back seat to deeply held beliefs, but the Germ Theory of Disease, Laws of Motion, and “them there math” should too.

Many experts believe this lawsuit is absurd but does illustrate the inner workings of American-style evangelical Christianity. One anonymous scholar pointed out the persecution complex baked into the faith and how believers must be considered fools for Christ (1 Corinthians 4:10). If anything, a delusional belief system divorced from reality is what powers Christianity.

Supporters of the lawsuit hope to bring the case all the way up to the Supreme Court. They may just win due to the conservative majority.

In related news, Tucker Carlson is the employee from hell.

 


 

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