May 30, 2019

Washington DC – The Department of Energy (DoE) released a statement today declaring the agency will now refer to solar power as Satan’s power. Satan’s power instead of solar power will appear on all communications within the organization and on external documentation. The change in policy takes place immediately. Many see the change as an extension of the DoE rebranding natural gas as freedom gas. The Guardian reports on the policy in the article US energy department rebrands fossil fuels as ‘molecules of freedom’:… Read more

May 29, 2019

I’m an atheist, and like many atheists I like to be Bible literate. Making videos about reading the Bible is fun for me and hopefully entertaining for you. This video I’m reading through chapters 25-26 in the Book of Exodus. In these two chapters God tells Moses and his crew to make stuff. They need to IKEA-up the Ark of the Covenant, the Tabernacle, and a nice table and some lamps. I hope you enjoy An Atheist Reads The Bible:… Read more

May 29, 2019

While traveling to Europe to celebrate the anniversary of D-day, the President of the United States was kidnapped. The incident occurred at Tokyo International Airport at 2:31 pm local time. Minutes before the abduction, President Trump told his bodyguards, “I need to do a big number two right now.” Reports state he was escorted to a private bathroom reserved for CEOs, heads of state, and CEOs who somehow became heads of state. President Trump demanded privacy for his “big meeting.”… Read more

May 28, 2019

Evansville, Indiana – Reverend Andrew Canard of Warren Avenue Baptist Church is selling Holy Spirit in a Can. The man of God states for $19.99 anyone can own a piece of the Trinity. ”This heavenly product is first aid for your soul,” Reverend Canard said. “When you have a spiritual emergency, just hold the can close to your heart and receive a divine anointing.” Thousands of Evangelicals already have Holy Spirit in a Can in their medicine cabinets, their emergency kits, and… Read more

May 27, 2019

Tokyo, Japan – In the middle of a state dinner with Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, President Trump demanded Japan apologize for chopsticks. Although he was using a knife and a fork at the time, the very idea of chopsticks seemed to infuriate him: Can you spread butter with chopsticks? No. Can you cut up a steak with them? No. I’ve only used them to pick up French fries. And chopsticks took the fun out of eating French fries. Unacceptable. Apologize… Read more

May 25, 2019

Hey, everyone! I hope you are doing well. As many of you know, I’m reading through the Bible and making videos of my journey. Here, I’m reading the Book of Exodus chapters 23 and 24. These chapters have it all. God chats with Moses and the elders of Israel, and shares His genocidal AND ethnic cleansing fantasies. And there are laws. Laws about donkeys and oxen. And when the LORD says it’s OK to party. It’s good times in the… Read more

May 24, 2019

Alexandria, Virginia – The Tenth Annual Republican and Evangelical Barbecue was bombed yesterday by a domestic terror group known as MAD. For fifteen minutes milkshakes rained down on notable Republican lawmakers and Evangelical leaders from the sky. The assailants utilized chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry milkshakes. Initial reports that stated cherry-vanilla milkshake cluster bombs were used proved to be false. Investigators believe the assailants utilized catapults to launch the attack. “They camouflaged the artillery. MAD waited until the Evangelicals and GOP were… Read more

May 23, 2019

Here is the second episode of Best Advice Ever. Best Advice Ever is a show where guests come on and chat about the best advice they ever got concerning their jobs as well as advice that helped them be a better person. Author, podcaster, stand-up comedian, and dad Nathan Timmel is the guest. Nathan is a regular guest on the podcast I cohost, Naked Diner. He‘s a professional. With 3 full length books under his belt and years of comedy… Read more

May 22, 2019

Hey everyone, this is Andy. I’m reading though the Bible. Today we’re going through chapters 21 and 22 in the Book of Exodus. These two chapters are all about laws. Last time we met we went through the 10 commandments. I mentioned there are actually 613 laws. Here are a gaggle of them. These laws cover how to treat slaves to what happens when you hit a pregnant woman and she loses a child. I guess that was common back… Read more

May 22, 2019

A new study by Evangelical researchers shows that atheists just want to sin. Not only do the godless want to sin, but they hate God, too. Atheists knowingly refuse the grace of God due to their love of online porn, supporting a healthy social safety net, and putting their families above the Almighty. Professor Andrew Canard of the Theological Institute of Technology (TIT) was in charge of the research team. Professor Canard has a long history studying atheists and the… Read more

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