January 15, 2020

President Trump was assaulted yesterday by a religious zealot at a campaign rally. Dayton, Ohio – President Trump isn’t allowing scandal, Democrats, or fake news keep him from the campaign trail. He’s fervently touring battleground states. He stopped by Dayton to rally his political base. If he doesn’t win Ohio with its 18 electoral votes, then he knows his chances are winning in 2020 are slim. The Trump team is worried. They know the party that wins the previous election… Read more

January 13, 2020

President Trump is looking for cash to fund his legal battles. Washington DC – Twitter users gazed at their phones today in disbelief. Most of them thought President Donald Trump couldn’t surprise them anymore. The Twitter-in-Chief proved them wrong. Facing a gaggle of legal battles, President Trump is telling the people of the United States that he will single-handedly shut down the government if his legal fees aren’t paid for in full. The do-nothing Democrats are doing one thing! Making me… Read more

January 12, 2020

Plucky Denmark is sending teams to Republican strongholds to change hearts and minds. Copenhagen, Denmark – This Nordic country of 5.8 million souls is dedicating itself to fight the monster of our times, the right-wing populism of the President of the United States of America, Donald J. Trump. Realizing Trumpism is a danger to the world, Denmark’s Ministry of Science is taking a leadership role in what many see as a war against aggressive stupidity. Nordic David Versus Republican Goliath… Read more

January 11, 2020

Prince Harry and Meghan are now officially brand ambassadors for the Magic Kingdom. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex recently announced they were taking a step back from their roles as royals. Part of their plan is to spend more time in North America. While the move will save the couple from the grinding schedule of Windsor Castle, they will need to seek out new income sources. BBC News reports the conundrum they are in: “The established rule has always… Read more

January 10, 2020

Britain is looking for a trade deal with the US. President Trump wants an imperial title. Washington DC – The United Kingdom is leaving the European Union and looking to write new trade agreements with old partners. President Trump is welcoming the opportunity to craft a deal of a lifetime that puts America first. While the media reports a new agreement may jeopardize Britain’s healthcare system, the real story is Donald Trump’s power grab. We may soon see Donald Trump President… Read more

January 9, 2020

Lahna Turner is a gifted comedian. She’s had a slew of comedy specials and performs regularly. Lahna is also the ex-wife of comedian Ralphie May. Ralphie died in 2017. A new documentary is coming out, “What’s eating Ralphie May?” The movie intended to record his weight loss journey. It ended up chronicling Ralphie’s life falling apart. Here is the trailer: In this episode of Best Advice Ever Lahna shares her experiences. We get to talk about how important it is… Read more

January 9, 2020

Texas’s 38 electoral votes are for Trump even though the 2020 election is months away. Austin, Texas – Democrats were hoping to turn Texas blue in 2020. The Lone Star State has 38 electoral votes, and if the country’s second-largest state goes against Republicans, then it’s difficult to imagine a path to victory for Trump in 2020. Those Democratic dreams were crushed today when Texas officially declared itself for Trump. Governor Andy “Big Duck” Canard told the press the exciting news:… Read more

January 8, 2020

Netflix’s “The First Temptation of Christ” made trouble in the Pence household. Washington DC-  The world is focused on the unfolding drama between President Donald Trump and the country of Iran. Tensions are high, and no one knows how the crisis is going to end. What is going under the radar is the dissolution of the Vice President’s marriage due to his fixation with the comedic short film on Netflix titled The First Temptation of Christ. The First Temptation of… Read more

January 7, 2020

This Nordic country is giving President Trump the cold shoulder. *Helsinki, Finland – Prime Minister Sanna Marin is telling President Trump he is not welcome in this country of 5.5 million. Though she is still relatively new to the position, Marin isn’t afraid to stand up to bullies and misogynists. In a written statement Prime Minister Marin explained the reasoning behind keeping Trump out of Finland: The President of the United States has expressed time and time again a deep… Read more

January 6, 2020

Citing irreconcilable differences, Melania Trump blocked POTUS on Twitter. Washington DC – As the world holds its breath to see how the Iranian regime responds to the death of Major General  Qassem Soleimani, the Washington establishment collectively gasped when First Lady of the United States Melania Trump blocked her husband on Twitter. Andrew Canard is a longtime friend and confidante of Mrs. Trump’s. He wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is with his gal pal: It’s hard being Melania. Every… Read more

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