May 27, 2019

Tokyo, Japan – In the middle of a state dinner with Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, President Trump demanded Japan apologize for chopsticks. Although he was using a knife and a fork at the time, the very idea of chopsticks seemed to infuriate him: Can you spread butter with chopsticks? No. Can you cut up a steak with them? No. I’ve only used them to pick up French fries. And chopsticks took the fun out of eating French fries. Unacceptable. Apologize… Read more

May 25, 2019

Hey, everyone! I hope you are doing well. As many of you know, I’m reading through the Bible and making videos of my journey. Here, I’m reading the Book of Exodus chapters 23 and 24. These chapters have it all. God chats with Moses and the elders of Israel, and shares His genocidal AND ethnic cleansing fantasies. And there are laws. Laws about donkeys and oxen. And when the LORD says it’s OK to party. It’s good times in the… Read more

May 24, 2019

Alexandria, Virginia – The Tenth Annual Republican and Evangelical Barbecue was bombed yesterday by a domestic terror group known as MAD. For fifteen minutes milkshakes rained down on notable Republican lawmakers and Evangelical leaders from the sky. The assailants utilized chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry milkshakes. Initial reports that stated cherry-vanilla milkshake cluster bombs were used proved to be false. Investigators believe the assailants utilized catapults to launch the attack. “They camouflaged the artillery. MAD waited until the Evangelicals and GOP were… Read more

May 23, 2019

Here is the second episode of Best Advice Ever. Best Advice Ever is a show where guests come on and chat about the best advice they ever got concerning their jobs as well as advice that helped them be a better person. Author, podcaster, stand-up comedian, and dad Nathan Timmel is the guest. Nathan is a regular guest on the podcast I cohost, Naked Diner. He‘s a professional. With 3 full length books under his belt and years of comedy… Read more

May 22, 2019

Hey everyone, this is Andy. I’m reading though the Bible. Today we’re going through chapters 21 and 22 in the Book of Exodus. These two chapters are all about laws. Last time we met we went through the 10 commandments. I mentioned there are actually 613 laws. Here are a gaggle of them. These laws cover how to treat slaves to what happens when you hit a pregnant woman and she loses a child. I guess that was common back… Read more

May 22, 2019

A new study by Evangelical researchers shows that atheists just want to sin. Not only do the godless want to sin, but they hate God, too. Atheists knowingly refuse the grace of God due to their love of online porn, supporting a healthy social safety net, and putting their families above the Almighty. Professor Andrew Canard of the Theological Institute of Technology (TIT) was in charge of the research team. Professor Canard has a long history studying atheists and the… Read more

May 21, 2019

Washington DC – While meeting with India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi, President Trump asked if he grew up near Indiana native Vice President Mike Pence. “I know Indiana is a big state, but it’s a small world,”President Trump told a confused Prime Minister Modi. “You two could’ve attended Indiana State together.” Vice President Pence was nearby and attempted to signal to Trump the commander-in-chief was in hot water. When a variety of hand signals didn’t work (they never do), Pence started drawing… Read more

May 20, 2019

Best Advice Ever is a show I’m doing on YouTube where people sit down and talk about the best advice they ever received. This episode features Philip Kapitan. Phil runs the Hangover Haze podcast. He’s been a guest on my podcast Naked Diner. I was also a guest on his show. Phil and I talk about who gave him the best advice, what it was, and how it affects him to this very day. I feel very fortunate I got… Read more

May 20, 2019

Reykjavik, Iceland – The government of Iceland is fining anyone within the country the equivalent of $36 if they communicate evolution isn’t true. The move comes as a wave of creationists swarm social media platforms with disinformation about the scientific theory. ”American Evangelicals are targeting our happy, secular country with their Bronze Age beliefs,” Prime Minister Andrew Kanard stated. “They want to turn Iceland into Alabama.” No one in Iceland’s parliament is surprised at American Evangelicals using social media to undermine… Read more

May 19, 2019

  Washington DC – A new scandal is rocking the White House and the Trump administration. The Flat Earth Gazette published love letters from the First Lady of the United States, Melania Trump, to Russian President Vladimir Putin. The Gazette published all thirty-two epistles. The letters paint a picture of an ambitious woman with love on her mind. At first, Mrs. Trump appears to be vacillating between being an agent of her husband’s business interests and fangirl of Putin: Dear President… Read more

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