We live in a culture that is toxic to leadership, so argued the social thinker and Rabbi Edwin Friedman. What Freidman meant was that in our culture we have developed a regressive mood.[1]It is a mood that is destructive, bent on artificial togetherness, and more oriented toward safety than adventure. In such an environment, leadership is difficult because the forces of regression subvert any change in the status quo—even if everyone secretly knows the status quo is toxic.
While Freidman is talking about the nation as a whole, he might as well have been talking about local congregations. Change is not a thing that most congregations do well. In fact, many resist change by design. In most congregations—even small ones—there are multiple boards and groups with decision-making power. The loss of approval from one of these groups can scuttle any project great or small. This diversity of decision-making power is well-intended. It involves many more people in decision-making, thereby allowing for greater input. It also prevents autocratic leaders from bullying their way forward. They also, however, can be used by the least mature to block any change at all. In fact, they have a greater potential for preventing change than they do at scuttling autocrats.
Also complicating matters, is our spirit of togetherness. In congregational life, togetherness is a good thing. It is a very good thing. The New Testament teaches us to be members of each other’s lives, to share in joy and sorrow, and to be one in spirit. The problem, however, is that we easily morph from a togetherness mentality to a herd mentality. The herd mentality is the process by which the individuality of a person is consumed. No person is allowed to have individual thought or power over the herd. Togetherness becomes so important that bad behavior is tolerated. Worse, people who have the mind to can use the power of togetherness to threaten and get their way. The result is everyone has to adapt to the least mature members of the congregation.
Another aspect of our leadership toxic environment is our tendency to blame. Congregations especially look for persons to blame for what is going wrong in them. I know of a congregation who currently is blaming their pastor for what is going wrong in their church. What the church does not want to note is that 4 out of the last 5 pastors left under duress. Even if the pastors were wrong in every case (a dubious prospect), it would say something about the church that they have chosen pastors who did not serve the church well 4 out of 5 times.[2]Other congregations blame seminaries for how pastors are trained. Others blame the culture at large. What blame prevents, though, is taking action.
When leadership is challenged most, sabotaged with greatest abandon, or most readily crushed is when leadership is needed the most. Unfortunately, our leadership toxic society has produced leaders who are actually afraid to lead. They are more interested in keeping everyone happy than in progress. Congregational leaders who are willing to let people get upset are often seen as “uncaring,” “authoritarian,” or worse “unchristian.” What has developed among our clergy in response is weak leadership focused on keeping everyone happy rather than making progress.
Against this backdrop, having a leader who can forcefully state a direction for the organization and not get pulled in by the forces of the status quo is a vital necessity. Leaders change things by the force of their presence. The force they generate is not a result of inborn charisma, as helpful as that might be. No, leaders generate force by being self-differentiated. They are able to know where they begin and end. They are able to manage their own anxieties and are able to not be detracted by the anxieties of others.
If local congregations have become incubators of weak leadership, then what is needed most is for them to regain a sense of adventure. A sense of being on adventure together would allow for congregations to think about what God is calling them to do and become. It would allow for people to let go of what has kept them “safe” and move forward into something that would give them life. Consider how we have all felt these last many months. For those who have had to stay home for safety from the virus, these months have seemed interminable. They are doing what is needed for safety, but they suffer as a result. Many abused substances. Others have gained significant amounts of weight. Others have simply binged watched TV until they are bored to death. These are behaviors consistent with anxiety and depression. Think of the irony. Being safe has led to depression and anxiety two disorders that can make life feel like it is not worth living. They are safe, but they are suffering. Congregations who settle for safe will suffer as well.
God has called His people to an adventure. The adventure is the joy of discovering and doing God’s will. Congregational leaders are called to empower the adventure, not coddle the least mature. The trick to getting a congregation unstuck is to focus relentlessly on the adventure of God.
[1]Edwin Friedman’s A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix forms the backdrop for this post. In this article, I adapt his definitions of the herd mentality, the resistance to change, blaming behaviors, definition of leadership and other concepts.
[2]This particular church is Baptist and is responsible for choosing their own pastor. While it may appear in different circumstances, blaming the pastor is typical outside the free-church tradition too.
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