I can be tough on my fellow clergy members, I admit it. Many times when I hear a sermon, I think something like, “That was not the right way to say that,” or “did the minister consider this the implications of this text fully,” or “I think he has misinterpreted the text in this case.” It is an unfortunate character flaw but true. One does not have to be a theologian or Biblical scholar, however, to object to a recent sermon from Rev. Stewart-Allen Clark of Malden, MO. In preaching about the relationship between husbands and wives, Clark said, “Now look, I’m not saying that every woman should can be an epic trophy wife like Melania Trump… Most women can’t be trophy wives, but maybe you’re a participation trophy. Not everybody looks like that, Amen? But you don’t need to look butch either.” At the conclusion of the sermon Clark quipped, “Scientists have discovered, by the way, a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive. It’s called ‘wedding cake.’”
My dear sweet mercy. The utter failure of this sermon is epic. It is a shining example of imperious incompetence and demonstrates nearly everything that could possibly go wrong in a sermon. It is breathtaking in its raw bawdiness, and gives radicals who hate the Church ammunition to stick the Church with the epithet, “sexist.” In short, this sermon is ministerial malpractice.
Nowhere in the Bible is there an injunction for women to achieve a certain dress size. Nowhere. Not in the footnotes. Not in the subtext. Nowhere. Nowhere in the Bible is there an injunction for women to look “hot” for their husbands. Nowhere. Here is a great rule of thumb for a sermon: If the Bible does not talk about it, it is probably not good sermon material.
When the pastor refers to Melania Trump as an “epic trophy wife,” he is clearly objectifying Mrs. Trump. Now, I do not have the right to pontificate about what is going on in his heart, but it certainly sounds like Clark is violating the 10th Commandment. The Commandment reads in part “…you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife…” Clark’s comments also sound like lust. While only God is Clark’s judge, making comments in a sermon that could be fairly interpreted as covetousness or lust is not acceptable.
It gets worse. The comment about being a “participation trophy” is clearly demeaning and invites women to measure themselves against Mrs. Trump. Our culture invites such comparison frequently, and it is damaging. One could imagine the howls of indignation if Clark had invited the men in his church to look at their wallets and compare them to Mr. Trump’s, rightfully so. Comparison is a demon, and it is causing harm all over our society. Body comparison is particularly damaging. Consider this link of a woman getting her appearance altered by photoshop for a photoshoot.
The woman’s appearance is altered so substantially that it is hard to think of her as the real person behind the shoot. If another woman were to compare herself to that image, she would be comparing herself to a photographer’s fantasy of what a woman should look like. No one should have to compete with utterly fantastic standards of beauty. Our society, however, invites such destructive comparison. To have a sermon reinforce the same kinds of unreal standards of beauty our society uses is unacceptable.
The harm thinking like Clark’s causes is manifold. Fortunately, most women are secure enough to be unfazed by his words. There are some, however, who would not be. Younger women and teenage young women could find the words very hurtful. Women who are already sensitive about weight might experience shame at hearing his words. There are some whose self-esteem would take a hit, a hit they could not afford. For those who are sensitive about their weight, what would hearing these words do? There are some who would go on yet another fad diet because of his words. There are some who might resort to more extreme measures. To put it bluntly, a sermon like this is more likely correlated with women getting bulimia than getting baptized. What he said was not good. It is not ok.
I am a father of three girls. I have three sisters. I am married. If I were present at this sermon, on behalf of the women in my life I would have found it necessary hold Clark accountable for his words. By the way, I hope the men who were amening this nonsense sleep on the couch for a year. Their cheerful revelry in Clark’s rhetoric is just as shameful as Clark’s words.
Fortunately, Clark is now on leave and getting counseling. It is not readily apparent what the outcome of his counseling will be. In the meantime, I hope the congregation is getting preaching focused on Jesus’ life and ministry.
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