When God Rewrote My Never: A Story of Returning to School

What’s something you said you’d never do… but then you did?

For me, it was attending college. Even though I am in a Doctor of Ministry class, I started on the opposite end of this conversation.

In fact, I didn’t think I was a good student growing up—and truth is, I wasn’t. My high school guidance counselor, who claimed to be a Christian, even told me I should look into work-study programs instead of dreaming about college, because my grades weren’t going to get me there. So, I took his advice.

Truthfully, I wanted to study marine biology. Jacques Cousteau was inspirational to me, and I’d still love the opportunity to start my journey over. However, I also wanted to be a rockstar. College never felt like an option, so I chased the latter—spending years promoting shows, living like a vagabond, and working as a stage manager in the music industry.

I tried a college program.

When I returned to the church in my twenties, I tried a small theological program through Vineyard USA called Vineyard Leadership Institute (VLI). But I didn’t have the time or money, and honestly, I didn’t have the heart for it. I still believed the old narrative: “School just isn’t for me.” After that, I told myself—never again. I’d never do college.

But life and God have a funny way of rerouting us.

I became a student

In 2014, after a year of pastoring locally, something shifted. I realized I wanted to grow in my education. Something in me wanted to serve well. For this reason, I signed up for a three-year program at Eastern Mennonite University called STEP (Study and Training for Effective Pastoral Ministry), led by Mark Wenger. And something clicked. I discovered I could do school. More than that—I loved it. I definitely had to work at it, and it didn’t come easy, but I believed in myself and what God was doing in my life.

Sometimes all it takes is a taste to realize you’re built for something.

After STEP, I kept going: a short pre-tertiary program through South African Theological Seminary, a free program through Gordon-Conwell, and then I went back and actually finished the program from VLI, now called the Vineyard Institute program. In fact, I did another one there after that. I even completed a certificate in photography from New York Institute of Photography. Learning was like a muscle, after each program my understanding and ability grew stronger (so did my grades).

And then… two master’s degrees from Fuller Seminary—an MA in Theology and Ministry and an MA in Global Leadership. And if that wasn’t enough, I pursued an MBA in Executive Leadership at City Vision University. I’ve done some other programs along the way, but eventually I realized what I once said I’d never do—I was ready to do: a doctoral program.

There was still one thing I wouldn’t do.

I used to say, “I’ll never do a doctorate.” And yet here I am, working on my Doctor of Ministry (DMin).

I didn’t land here overnight. I weighed a PhD, EdD, ThD—and eventually landed on the DMin. And the topic didn’t take long to settle: The theological, historical, and practical implications of the Lord’s Prayer. I’m designing a curriculum for the two contexts I serve—River Corner Church, a simple community of Jesus followers, and Water Street Mission, where I walk alongside those experiencing homelessness. I have hopes my findings go further than that, but that is the focus for now.

I believe the Lord’s Prayer isn’t just a prayer—it’s a whole-life framework that leads to transformation. It captures everything Jesus taught and everything He lived.

I never thought I’d do this. But I’d like to believe God always did. And seemingly, God has been opening doors.

Now, I’ve made some mistakes along the way. I went into debt for my first two master’s degrees—and I regret that. But I was able to do my MBA debt-free, thanks to Water Street Mission. And so far, I’ve taken on no debt at Kairos University.

Recommending Kairos University.

Let me tangent for a minute. Kairos University is different. It’s a unique model of theological education that blends community, mentoring, competency-based learning, and personal discipleship. It’s flexible, affordable, and rooted in your local context. It’s exactly what I needed.

You may need it to kairos.edu.

The journey through the Doctor of Ministry program

I’ve had $1,925 of my DMin costs covered so far, and I’ve personally paid for several months. But the truth is—money’s getting tight. Raising three daughters and managing my Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis has introduced new challenges and costs. I was diagnosed shortly after being accepted into the program. It’s changed my rhythms, my energy, and my budget.

Still—I press on.

There are wins! Recently, I transitioned to a new mentor team that includes people who truly know my context: Mark Wenger, my bishop Mike Clemmer, and local pastor Robert Brody. Their guidance is helping me stay grounded and focused. And honestly, it’s making this journey feel more communal, more local, and more possible.

You do not direct your paths.

God has a way of surprising us—of opening up paths we never thought we’d walk. As Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Looking back, college was one of those unexpected paths for me. What I once believed was impossible has become a journey marked by joy, gratitude, and a deep sense of calling. Just as the Lord says in Isaiah 43:19, “Look, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”—I can see how God has been at work in ways I didn’t expect. And while Jeremiah 29:11 was spoken to the exiled people of Israel through the prophet Jeremiah—“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord—we, too, can trust that God has plans for us. Plans that lead us into new beginnings and deeper trust in Him.

And right now—I’m trusting God again for my Doctor of Ministry.

If you’d like to help me continue this journey, $300 covers another month of my program. I’ve made some financial mistakes along the way—especially taking on unnecessary debt for my first two master’s degrees, something I now deeply regret and will live with for sometime. Though, this mistake is helping me to guide my oldest as she enters high school. I’m doing my best not to repeat those mistakes. With each step forward, I’m trying to be more intentional, more sustainable, and more rooted in trust with my own studies. I need to steward the journey well. However, with not getting as many grants right now, every bit of support helps lift the financial burden so I can stay focused on equipping the people I serve with a deeper understanding of the transforming power of Jesus and the prayer Jesus gave us.

If you’re willing to support this journey, contributions can be made directly through the Kairos University site using the form below.

• Student Name: Jeffrey McLain
• Student ID: 6760 (Mention in Comments)
• Link: Payment on Student Account

Thanks for reading—and thank you for walking with me in this story I once thought I’d never live.

Just do it.