The Best Way To Educate.

All four of our children are enrolled in the public school system. While I can’t say that we’ve tried every type of schooling yet, it’s likely safe to say that by the time it’s all said and done, we will have exhausted every educational system available.

We had always planned on homeschooling. I sent for my first homeschooling brochures when I was only ten weeks pregnant with my first child. As a young mom, I read every book I could about homeschooling, and implemented all kinds of schooling into our day. My sons would sit in the bathtub while I read to them from “When We Were Very Young,” and I had my five year old enrolled in piano lessons before he started Kindergarten. The idea of developing a love of learning was both a noble and beautiful concept, and one we wanted to cultivate within our children. The freedom, flexibility, and “sky’s the limit” approach to homeschooling seemed like an ideal, fairytale-like way to raise children. I still believe that.

It was only the beginning of our second year homeschooling, but it wasn’t going well. Our infant daughter had health problems and developmental delays. She was up most of the night coughing, which made me exhausted during the day. We had in-home therapy each week, and I was often busy with meetings and phone calls. Martha needed my attention all night, and most of the day. I had a two-year old in diapers, a four year old getting lost in the shuffle, and a six year old I was trying to teach to read.

Additionally, my daughter had 11 different doctors, all of whom wanted to see her every 1-3 months. Each appointment meant a 2.5 hour drive to the Children’s Hospital, then a 2.5 hour drive home. The boys were away from their mom a lot. Mom being out of the house meant that groceries weren’t bought, dinners weren’t made, laundry wasn’t done, and the house wasn’t cleaned. Fitting in homeschool, therapies, and general housekeeping on the days I was home was exhausting. And I was unhappy.

The problem was that sending the kids to school wasn’t even an option. We had never once considered, or discussed any other option other than homeschooling. But, we also hadn’t discussed the hypothetical of having a disabled child, either. Something needed to change, because our current pace wasn’t sustainable.

The wonderful thing about a great Church community and dear friends and family, is that when your family is struggling, they are there to guide you in your decisions. After many tearful discussions with dear souls, and a desperate novena, we confidently enrolled our children in school. (I blogged about it in real time at my old blog.)

Wonderful lessons were learned during this experience. Primarily, that there is no right or wrong way to educate our children, and that we must make the very best decision given our circumstances. For some that means Catholic, Parochial, or private school. For others it might mean homeschool, a virtual school, or tutoring. Within these options, I know many families who utilize numerous forms of education at any given time depending on the needs of their children.

There’s a famous quote by Woody Allen, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” We had a lot of confidence in our schooling plans, and it was difficult to adjust our minds to changing what we thought was best. It was both hard, and humbling, but a reluctantly learned lesson to realize that we can’t predict our circumstances year to year.

It always breaks my heart a little when a family trying to make the best decision for their family, is made to believe their choice is due to some personal defect in themselves that keeps them from accomplishing better for their children.

If you can’t afford the private school, if the Catholic school is too far away, or if you are homeschooling for family flexibility, it doesn’t mean that the family down the road who sends their kids to the private school, the Catholic school, or the public school are making the superior choice. It’s YOUR family. If schooling isn’t working for YOU, then how does that benefit anyone?

Recently, one of my boys has been asking if he can be homeschooled next year. I ask, “Do you think you’d be lonely all day without all the friends you’ve made?”

And he replies, “Maybe a little.”

So I say, “We’ll talk about it, and try to make the best decision when the time comes. I’m not sure yet what the best option will be next year.”

Which is probably the most honest answer I’ll ever be able to give.