Faith in a Time of Pandemic – Got Doubt?

XXXV.
GOT DOUBT
(4/17)

But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” (John 20:24-27)

Author Madeleine L’Engle recalls being asked a question following a lecture. “Do you believe in God without any doubts?” L’Engle responded, “I believe in God with all my doubts.” For L’Engle, doubt is not an impediment to faith, but an essential part of our faith journey.

As a college student, I discovered theologian Paul Tillich’s “Dynamics of Faith.” I was a college student, who could no longer believe much of what I learned in my childhood faith. When I read Tillich’s affirmation that doubt is part of faith, and that our experiences of doubt are a sign of the seriousness with which we take our faith. Tillich’s words helped me claim my faith as a Christian though I still had doubts about certain aspects of my childhood faith.

Thomas is often criticized for his faithlessness. In contrast, I believe that Thomas is a person of deep faith. Imagine his experience. When Jesus appeared to his followers, Thomas was absent. He returned to a radically transformed community. The community was overcome with joy, ecstatic over the encounter with the Risen Jesus. Thomas was skeptical. He wanted to be sure Jesus had risen. He recognized that faith involves facts not fantasy. Despite his doubts, he stayed with his fellow disciples. He stayed with them despite his outsider status.

When he finally encountered Jesus, his spirit was transformed. Christ came alive for him. Legend has it that Thomas traveled to India to preach the gospel. Perhaps only Thomas had the intellectual bandwidth to speak to the complexities of the Indian people. His doubt prepared him to share the good news in culture radically different from his own.

In this time of pandemic, recognizing our doubt is an act of faith. Take seriously your doubts but recognize that God is with you in your anger, confusion, and doubt. Your doubts and concerns may be the pathway to deeper faith.
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God of all things, let us place our fears and doubts in your hands. Let us trust you with our doubts, knowing that You believe in us and will be with us in faith and doubt, certainty and uncertainty, filling us with your grace and love. Amen.