The Spiritual Practice of Lament
In a previous post, I offered these thoughts around grief and loss: To cry is to be human. When we come into the world, we often enter with a cry. I remember the first cries of my children. It was their declaration that they had arrived. In those first cries, they were exclaiming their discomfort with this new, bright, loud, and cold world. We can all agree that this type of crying is normal and appropriate, however, in the west, there is a tendency to avoid negative feelings and therefore the practice of lament is often misunderstood.
October is an interesting month in terms of celebrations. Not only do we fully welcome the autumnal season, the changing leaves and the cool air, we celebrate a whole holiday at the end of the month that centers around death. I have always seen the change of the seasons from summer to fall to winter as a dying to the year. It can be a time of melancholy and morose feelings. Loss comes in many forms, death of loved ones, pets and even opportunities and health.
My professional life fell apart in 2004, right as it was about to begin. Not the greatest student, I did not finish my first master’s program with high enough marks to move on with becoming a minister in my church denomination. My immaturity and uncontrolled ADHD made me a rather hard to work with person, rubbing many back home in my district the wrong way. A letter came in the mail one day that simply stated that the church would not be moving on with my ordination. It would take me twelve years to rebuild my professional life. In 2023, I had words “memento mori” embedded in a crow’s feather tattooed on my right forearm. The crows feather as a symbol of the guidance I play in helping people deal with the dark times of their lives and memento mori as a way to remind me daily of how little we have control of, how easily all can be taken away. Remember, you are going to die.
What Can Memento Mori Teach Us?
While best known as a Stoic principle brought to us by Marcus Aurelius, we know that Stoicism brushed up against early Christianity. Seneca lived and probably taught during Jesus’ life and was a contemporary of Paul. It is not too much of a stretch then to wonder how memento mori can be relevant to Christians.
In my lectio for this piece, I was guided to Moses’ prayer in Psalm 90:17, “Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so we may grow in wisdom.” (NLT) Death is a common theme in the bible. The biblical writers warned those defying, denying or ignoring God to consider, before it is too late, that the end comes to everyone.
The early Desert Fathers and Mothers viewed memento mor as a way that can clear the mind, allowing us to savor the present with new eyes and fresh gratitude. It invites us to live with intention, to not defer joy or kindness, and to engage in our relationships with greater presence and authenticity.
Today, modern Christians may be reluctant to spend time thinking about our death because of the stereotypes of hellfire and brimstone teachings of an earlier time. Love, peace and unity had a moment in the 1970’s. I started my formal ministry career the week before 9/11 and preached my first sermon as a pulpit pastor the Sunday after. Following this, our country witnessed two decades of war. Death for modern Christians stood out front. For modern Christians, we can lean on what memento mori teaches us, embrace humility and that Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life.
Spiritual Practices to Guide Our Awareness.
Memento Mori is a gentle reminder of our mortality that be a profound guide to living fully and embracing life with all its beauty and challenges. This ancient practice of contemplating death isn’t about inducing fear or despair, but rather, it serves as an awakening to the preciousness of each moment we are given. It is felt that the spiritual practices of being present, finding meaning and focusing on beauty where it can be found can accompany our awareness of our mortality and bring a deeper richness to our human experience.
Each breath is a gift, each moment an opportunity to weave love, compassion, and meaning into the fabric of your life. The spiritual practice of attention enhances our awareness. Awareness teaches us to do one thing at a time and to savor the doing. Life is a gift. Our awareness then of each moment, of every opportunity grounds us and attunes us to those we are engaging with and the environment we are engaging in.
By acknowledging the certainty of death, we make a conscious choice to cherish life more deeply, to prioritize what truly matters, and to let go of trivial grievances that drain our spirit. The spiritual practice of being present is a choice to cherish life, each moment at a time. It teaches us to be content with what we have.
Incorporating memento mori into your daily mindfulness can manifest in small acts – a pause to appreciate the warmth of the sun on your skin, a moment to fully listen to a friend without distraction, or the courage to pursue passions and dreams that stir your soul. The spiritual practice of meaning making
Each memento mori becomes a gentle nudge to live, love, and be present with a heart open to the now, awakening you to the thread of wonder that runs through all of existence. As a practice, we must embrace memento mori not as the end, but as a source of wisdom guiding you towards a life of conscious, compassionate, and embodied living.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In