“I took off for a weekend last month just to try and recall the whole year
All of the faces and all of the places wonderin’ where they all disappeared”
Jimmy Buffett, Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes, title song of the 1977 album of the same name.
And just like that, we are at the end of June. For six months, we have been freezing and soaked, complaining about the bad weather and in an instant, we had a heat dome, and everyone was complaining about the heat. I went on my annual backpacking trip, that took the better part of a year to get ready for, mostly the anticipation of it all. My kid graduated from high school, leaving us just one left in school and I turned 48. Life is moving very quickly. Sometimes, it is important to just take a pause to just take it all in.
What is Your Why?
Most of the treatment plans I write for my clients are completed in December and June. If a client stays with me long enough, we take these times to either write new plans or go over the old ones and address progress and direction going forwards. At the beginning of our time together, I will ask the client what their why is. Six months later, we re visit this why. Six months into the year, I ask you, I consider for myself, “what is your why?”
My why has been pretty consistent over the last 25 years, engage in life in such a way that reduces the suffering of all sentient beings. I have consistently endeavored to be a reliable and knowledgeable individual, aiming to serve as a mentor to others.
What is Your Excuse?
In December of 2024, I offered a challenge to consider five postures to consider for 2025. To say the least, 2025 has been more challenging in a lot of ways than the whole COVID situation was in 2020-2022. It has been difficult to be a pastor and a therapist with extensive training in the fields of psychology, behavior and theology to come up with a reason why people are acting they way they are. It can almost lead one to hopelessness. We can even begin to make excuses and lean into the idea that our ideas, our opinions, our voices do not matter. These are excuses to not try, and we must strive to move forward every day.
Maybe this year isn’t going as planned. As a behaviorist, I ask “why”. Jocko Willink, a former Navy Seal and business leadership teacher, urges taking extreme ownership of mistakes. These lessons were also taught to me by my military leadership, from high school ROTC to 8 years in the Reserves and 2 years in college ROTC. Early on, excuses were never accepted. Even now, “I don’t know” is an answer, but not the final answer. So why are things not going your way?
Where do You Need to Pivot?
We are six months into the year and we need to ask ourselves. What is not working? What habit or habits are you engaging in that are not serving you? It’s in these moments, when reflection meets reality, that we find the opportunity to create change. Sometimes the challenges we face—whether in our personal lives, professional journeys, or the broader world—can feel overwhelming, but they also invite us to reassess our priorities and find clarity in the chaos. It’s about embracing the discomfort, sitting with the hard truths, and choosing to take conscious steps toward growth. A pivot doesn’t have to be monumental; even the smallest adjustments in thought, action, or intention can shift our trajectory. By confronting what holds us back and daring to realign with our deeper values, we inch closer to the life we envision, one deliberate step at a time.
How are you showing up:
As a parent – do you take full advantage of the time you are with your family? Do you fully engage intimately – physically and emotionally with your spouse and your kids? Are you fully aware of the going ons in their lives? Can you name three of your kid’s friends? Can you sing along to at least one of their favorite songs?
At work – Do you give 110%? Manage your emotion states with compassion and respect to others around you? Are you accurate with all your tasks? Do you help others and consider the needs of the organization as part of your stake of the ownership even if you have none? How do others see you?
With Friends – Do you take full advantage of the time you have with your friends? Do you go out of your way to strengthen and maintain bonds. Do you go out of your way to support your friends’ endeavors?
With Self – How do you build yourself up? How do you think of yourself? If the lie of poor sense of self has crept into your brain, it is time to see a therapist. Have you been to the gym lately? Your diet went to shit? It is time to get back into it. You are born weak and vulnerable and you die weak and vulnerable, how you look in between is up to you. Many of the metabolic diseases and obesity are largely preventable if you take care of yourself. This means not only watching what you eat, going to the gym, but also seeing a therapist to deal with the distorted thinking you have created around why you are unhealthy in the first place.
These are only a couple of areas of focus, but if you struggled to answer yes to any of these questions, maybe it is time to make a list, a task sheet and start working on these areas.
The Only Way Out is Through
In my best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, “do it now!” Whatever is holding your back, change it. Rip the band aid off, get off the couch, put down the beer, spend more time with your kids, your wife and your community, turn off the television and be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
All along, I have offered that transformation is an ongoing process, we are all on a path of becoming. Creating or reengaging in new habits requires tenacity and the courage to confront our limitations while celebrating our victories, no matter how small they may seem. Each day presents us with a choice—to either stand still, weighed down by excuses and fears, or to take meaningful steps forward, guided by purpose and intention. In facing the complexity of the world around us, we must also remember to nurture our capacity for empathy and connection. By doing so, we honor not just our goals but the lives we touch along the way, proving that even amidst uncertainty, growth is always possible.
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