A Quick Trip to the Park Changed my Life Forever!

It was a quick trip to the park on a Saturday evening. Just my three boys and I. Nothing major, just a few minutes with the family to get out the hyper-activity. I didn’t notice it right away, but once it sank in, there was no stopping the waves of sadness, frustration, and anger. It might not have been a big deal to you, but it still stands out to me. It doesn’t have to do with what I saw, but rather, what I didn’t see! Out of all the families at the park that day, there was not another father with his child. Not one. Plenty of moms with their children, playing around the monkey bars, walking the track, kicking the ball – but no dads!

There is a crisis of leadership among families – especially of godly, male leadership. Fathers are absent, too busy working to be present. Fathers are passive, too stressed and tired to be involved. Satan is attacking homes by attacking fathers, and it’s working! The US leads the world in fatherless families. Nearly 35% (over 1/3) of kids are without a father in their life. Twenty million children are growing up in ‘head-less’ homes. The annual cost to the government due to fatherlessness: $100 billion.

STATS: Dads make a difference!

If you are a dad, you might not feel like your presence is very important. You might not feel like you are making a difference, but you are. Do you know why? It’s because fatherless kids are more likely to be convicted of a violent crime (2,000% more likely than those with fathers). They are more likely to be involved in a teen / unwed pregnancy (700% more likely). Kids growing up in homes without a dad are more likely to be involved in homosexuality, rape, sexual deviance (1,400% more likely) and more likely to be a high-school dropout (900%). Fatherless kids have a higher rate of suicide and attempted suicide as a teenager (500%). They run away from home more than those children with fathers (3,200% more likely) and they abuse drugs / alcohol more also (1,000% more likely).

The Kind of Dad who Makes the Difference

So what kind of a man makes a father that makes the difference in the lives of his children? Let’s take a look at what God’s word tells us about this.

As seen in 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12 Text (v11): “as a father doth his children”

1.He is Gentle (v7)

– he might be rough around the edges, he might have been a good candidate for the Hell’s Angels… but that doesn’t mean he can’t be gentle. Being gentle is being tender or mild. It is to interact with others through the grace of God. His tone (his words) should be gentle; his touch should be gentle (affectionately hugging his family).

2.He Gives of Himself (v8)

– he is like a nursing mother who doesn’t want to give her baby anything but herself (no bottles, no formula). He bares himself in honesty and transparency with this family and lives sacrificially for them (Ephesians 5:25).

3.He is Gospel-Centered (v9)

– not only is he a saved man, but he is familiar with the cross because he daily dies to himself. He knows God because he’s not afraid to be associated with Christ’s death, suffering and resurrection (Philippians 3:10). The Bible and the gospel aren’t separate from him, his life is lived for the glory of God.

4.He is Godly (v10)

– he patterns his fathering after his Heavenly Father. Growing in holiness, dealing fairly with others, acting above board, without accusations. He seeks the Divine attributes as his own. He desires God’s presence and power upon Him (Matthew 6:33). He depends upon God more than he does himself or his work. This man loves others more than they love in return. He is a good representative of God, the Father, to his children.

5.He Guides (v11)

– he is actively building his family with spiritual coaching, emotional comfort, and Scriptural challenges and he is not a passive, ‘do as I say-not as I do’ kind of father. He is present and involved, walking with them over the mountains and through the dark valleys of life. It’s sad that many adolescents grow up without a guide to ‘forsake’ (Prov. 2:17) – even in so-called Christian homes.

6.He is Good at Reproducing Himself (v12)

– whether consciously or not, he prepares another generation not only to fill his shoes, but also to surpass his spiritual devotion and to be great for God. He understands that his calling is far bigger than the here and now. He realizes that what he does (or doesn’t do) affects eternity – and not just his eternity, either! Amazingly, he overcomes the enemies of pride, career-pressures, laziness, financial burdens, media bombardment, procrastination, sensual culture, selfishness, and more. His success isn’t measured during his lifetime, nor the next – his rewards will wait until all is tallied at the judgment (Matthew 25:23).

The Letter

A father is so important to a child! Let me tell you what a child thinks about his daddy! I promise you it will change your perspective about Fatherhood. The following is a letter that a small child wrote to God one night.

Dear God,

Thanks for giving me a daddy….
You knew just what I’d need! In case you need to make daddies for other kids, I thought you might like to know what I like best about the one you sent me:

A good dad …

1. knows everything (like how to tie shoes and drive a car)
2. is really smart (he even knows where the wind goes after it blows through the trees)
3. has a forgiving heart (for when I mess up)
4. is loaded with patience, patience, patience (he probably won’t need it, but just in case…)
5. has a comfy lap and a big laugh (you understand about that, don’t you?)
6. tells me all about you and your son.

Your friend,

A Kid

P.S. I almost left out the best part! A good dad has real strong arms (to catch me when I fall. He says you’re just like that, too).

National Adoption Awareness Month

Today is November 1st, 2018. November is national Adoption Awareness Month and all over the US, little children are being adopted into their forever homes! National Adoption day is the Saturday before Thanksgiving so this year it will be on November 17th. Mass adoptions take place all over the US on that day and many orphans and children who have been placed in foster care due to neglect or abuse will finally have a mommy and a daddy who will be there for them.

Manly Training Ministries understands the need for men to grow into becoming the Fathers that we  were created to be and if adoption is or has been a part of your life or if you may be contemplating the possibility of adoption, The next 16 days will encourage you. Please share with your friends and family whose lives have been transformed through adoption.

My Friend David Lafferty from Million mile Secrets has some great information in an article he published recently. Check it out at :  The Ultimate Guide to Adoption Travel for Expecting Parents

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Eduardo Quintana is also featured as an author on Lightworkers Media