Why Are Men So Messed Up and Confused? I believe there are multiple factors that have contributed to men being messed up and confused. I don’t think this list is exhaustive, but it will give us a good picture. Since the feminist movement (that really began gaining ground in the 1960s) got underway we have become scared to stand up for true masculinity for fear of being mislabeled or attacked. 

I think it is partly because we have forgotten what true masculinity looks like, honestly. There has been a lack of teaching and discipleship in the home and our churches. Most of our dads didn’t teach us and, for the most part, neither did our pastors. For the longest time I used this lack of discipleship as a crutch. I complained that I didn’t know these things because “I was never taught or discipled.”

Mom did What She Could but I’m Still Messed Up

My mom did what she knew how, but she is not a man and could not teach me to be a man! Poor, pitiful me! I felt sorry for myself because I thought I was in the minority of Christian men. I now know that men who have received discipleship from their dads or other godly men in the church are in the minority. If you are in the minority – praise God!

Side note: Don’t sit around and blame others for your lack of training. Whatever your circumstances were, you can still learn to be a Godly man, a devout husband, a god-fearing father and a model citizen. Find training. Follow the examples of godly men around you. Ask them questions. Read good books, listen to sermons, etc. The bottom line is this: do something about it so you can disciple others, so you can train your sons, and stop this cycle!

Definition of Biblical Manhood – Messed Up

So here is my definition of biblical manhood as simply as I can put it: Biblical manhood is the state or condition of a man who is making progress in pursuing and knowing God himself (as opposed to merely accumulating facts about God — the facts must at some point lead to a fire in the heart for the Person of God), and who values these above all else.

A godly man is a man who is after the heart of God, who longs for God, and whose own heart belongs to God. This is much more than “I gave my heart to Jesus” when I was 12 years old at summer camp. This is a moment-by-moment giving over of our heart, our self, to the Father, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit, with a hope, a desire, a passion for His glory to be reflected in all we think and do. A godly man knows God, so much so that he can say, Oh God, you are my God. That, in a nutshell, is godly manhood.