And This is the Number 1 Reason Not to Baby Your Child!

Don’t Baby Your Child! Being a parent is hard. It’s one of the hardest things any man or woman will do in their lifetime. We all want to be the perfect parent, but the reality of the matter is that we do some very dumb things. We are not perfect and God knows that! However, there are 7 things we do as parents that are downright terrible. What are they? We start with this one:

Baby your child.

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This week we will take a hard look at parenting as we continue to discuss the 7 worst things parents do. And certainly, Babying your child is one of the 7 worst things parents do….

And This is the Number 1 Reason Not to Baby Your Child!

“A servant pampered from childhood will become a rebel.” Proverbs 29:21 (NLT)

“My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.” Proverbs 1:8 (NLT)

Pay attention to the following two words, “corrects” and “instruction.” These are important tasks of a parent who wishes to raise a well-balanced child. The Hebrew word for “correction” is used 25 times in Proverbs and has to do with corrective discipline. The idea of discipline runs like a thread through the tapestry of the Book of Proverbs. Every conscientious parent needs to study the topic of discipline in Proverbs.

The word “instruction” is the Hebrew word for “law”(torah). The Bible teaches that fathers need to lovingly discipline their children and mothers need to lay down the law. Do Any of you have a mother that laid down the law? Good – she was doing her job.

So Why are correction and instruction necessary?

The Baby Rebel

Correction and instruction give confidence to our children. Correction and instruction prepare them for life on their own. Many children grow up not knowing how to handle the rigors of adult life because dad and mom thought it more important to do things “for” them than to take the time to teach them to do things “for themselves.” Kids become young adults not knowing how to iron a shirt or blouse, or use a washing machine, or reconcile a bank statement, or hold a job because they weren’t corrected and instructed.

In “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ,” Daniel Goleman cited Jerome Kagan’s research on children who are innately, biologically timid. Mothers and fathers who protected their timid children from upsetting experiences produced kids who continued to be plagued by fear as they grew older. Moms and dads who gradually and consistently encouraged their kids to deal with more and more of the world, produced children who were much less fearful later on. 

This outcome challenges the thinking of many contemporary American parents who believe that children should be shielded from life’s difficulties. To the contrary, even biologically fearful children do better if their parents encourage them to conquer their fears.

Fearless Baby

Correction and instruction, rather than babying a child, gives him or her the confidence not only to perform certain tasks for themselves, but also how to learn to do new tasks. It enables them to overcome fear.

The other night I watched the PBS documentary on President Franklin Roosevelt. One of the most interesting parts of the biopic was the way his mother doted on him. He wasn’t allowed to bathe himself until he was 8 years old. He didn’t handle his own finances until 1941 when his mother died – only four years before his own death. Basically, Roosevelt’s mom handles all of his finances. In fact, before moving into the White House, Roosevelt and his family lived in an adjoining brownstone with his mother. There were open doors between their homes.

What effect did being babied have on this famous man in history? After marrying (not surprisingly, against his mother’s wishes) he went on a 3-month long honeymoon to Europe with his wife Eleanor. Eleanor was surprised by Franklin’s frequent inexplicable nightmares. 

Was he suffering separation anxiety by being away from his mother for so long? 

FDR and His Fear

The man who said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” was constantly afraid. By critiquing her letters psychologists concluded that FDR was driven to seek power because of his inner insecurities.

There is a better way to help your child achieve success in life: correction and instruction. Don’t make the mistake of babying them. Don’t let the children make the family rules. That’s the job of the parents. Don’t let them run the show. Give them limits.

Don’t baby them. It’s the first worst mistake a parent can make.

Don’t miss next week’s episode when we talk about how damaging it is to put your marriage last. Putting your marriage last is one of the 7 worst things parents do.

Thank you so much for joining us this week on The Manly Training Podcast!

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