Explosive End of President Creosote, er, Trump’s Ego?

Explosive End of President Creosote, er, Trump’s Ego? January 26, 2017

President Trump’s ego is like the universe after the Big Bang, expanding exponentially in an ever-growing bubble of hot gas.

Donald Trump's ego continues to expand explosively, consuming everything in its path and contaminating whatever it touches.
Photo credit: By Kardo omed – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0.

And like the universe, the inflation of Trump’s ego has only sped up since his inauguration. After less than a week in office, it has already swallowed Washington, DC and is fast approaching the suburbs of Virginia.

At this rate, by the end of the month Donald Trump’s ego will have swamped the entire eastern seaboard. Even his great big beautiful wall could not contain its thundering mass.

You would think being leader of the free world would be good enough for President Creosote. But the fact that he lost the popular vote by almost three million votes–the largest margin for a winning candidate since the disputed election of 1876–sticks in his Creamsicled craw.

So did the reports that fewer people crowded on the Washington Mall to attend his inauguration than Barack Obama’s two swearings in. And that far more people amassed in the Women’s March to protest his agenda.

In a snit, The Donald sent his press secretary to lie set the record straight on the first full day of his presidency. What’s next? Will he rename Badlands National Park Trumplands because for a few hours employees defiantly tweeted scientific facts about Global Warming?

Will he make the Grand Canyon even grander by having his face carved on its walls? That would show the Department of Interior for retweeting a photo comparing his inauguration crowed to President Obama’s in 2009. Trump also threatened to sic the Feds on Chicago after the city’s mayor, a former Obama administration Chief of Staff, tweeted criticisms about his focus on the size of his inaugural crowds.

The leader of the free world spent much of his first full network interview extolling his own virtues and defending his evidence-free assertions regarding them. In the future, to give himself more time to focus on tweeting and watching coverage about himself, perhaps he’ll create a new Department of Trumperbole dedicated solely praising his greatness.

Should the Commander in Chief be forced to spend his precious time reminding people of triumphs like his epic speech in front a memorial to fallen CIA officers?

That speech was a home run. See what Fox said. They said it was one of the great speeches. They showed the people applauding and screaming. … I got a standing ovation. In fact, they said it was the biggest standing ovation since Peyton Manning had won the Super Bowl, and they said it was equal. I got a standing ovation. It lasted for a long period of time. You probably ran it live. I know when I do good speeches. I know when I do bad speeches. That speech was a total home run. They loved it. … People loved it. They loved it. They gave me a standing ovation for a long period of time. They never even sat down, most of them, during the speech. There was love in the room. You and other networks covered it very inaccurately. … That speech was a good speech. And you and a couple of other networks tried to downplay Atomic explosionthat speech. And it was very, very unfortunate that you did.

Remember, this is the man with the nuclear codes. Which is appropriate, I suppose. Donald Trump’s ego continues to expand explosively, consuming everything in its path and contaminating whatever it touches.

And all it takes to trigger the superheated chain reaction of Trump’s ego-explosions is one thin-skinned tweet.

Screenshot via YouTube.
Screenshot via YouTube. 

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