Report from behind enemy lines at Jade Helm 2015

Report from behind enemy lines at Jade Helm 2015 September 18, 2015

I had an idea to write a piece near the last day of the infamous Jade Helm 2015 training exercise to perhaps humorously outline all the calamities that didn’t occur during Jade Helm. I had thought the end date was around September 15th but since I wasn’t sure, I decided to see if big Google in the sky could help me. I typed in a straightforward query that said “Jade Helm end date” and instead of getting straightforward information concerning the end date for Jade Helm, almost the entire first page of the results was devoted to the Jade Helm conspiracies, mostly from the point of view of those who believe in the conspiracies.

jade helm 1  jade helm 2

This gem was my particular favorite, especially since it ties in so nicely with the last article I posted about the end of the world:

Jade Helm “Ends” With the Beginning of the Shemitah Jubilee in Mid-September 2015

Starting off with an “URGENT WARNING” (of course), the article goes on to state “the greatest nightmare ever in American history begins Sept 2015! You will be left speechless!”.

So I read it and then read it again and I still have no idea what a Shemitah Jubilee is or what it is supposed to do but it seems to be linked to 9/11, the Great Depression, a blood moon, Israel, the bible, a solar eclipse from 1931, the economy, the New World Order (of course), Target store closures in Canada, and a Walmart, otherwise referred to as “JT 15 Walmart Central Command for Underground Operations”.

Honesty, I got so distracted that I forgot to write about what I originally intended to write about. To make up for my lapse, here’s my short list of all the disasters and such that occurred as a result of Jade Helm 2015:

 

<cue crickets chirping>

 

Anyway, back to Shemitah, the article advises readers to “take your money out of the bank and make preparations for general survival” and then states “we will all be in serious danger because things will never be the same again”. And yet, immediately after predicting chaos, the author gives him/herself an out by writing “while I’m not claiming this will positively happen, I am stating that there is a GREAT (caps are the author’s) possibility”.

Way to commit to your position, Shemitah Jubilee author.

Anyway, that’s my Jade Helm 2015 report from my internment camp behind enemy lines in central Texas, otherwise known as “my house”.

 

 

 

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