A Family’s a Family No Matter How Non-Traditional

A Family’s a Family No Matter How Non-Traditional September 16, 2012

by Vyckie Garrison

While in Minneapolis this week, I went out for dinner with Joe Sands (Incongruous Circumspection) and his wife, Kristine Sands. It was a true pleasure to hang out with this fun couple – I ♥ awesome people. Yay! (✿◠‿◠)

Also, while in Minneapolis, I had the privilege to spend most of a day with Melissa (Permission To Live) and her spouse, Haley.

Having never personally known any transgender people, I will admit to being quite curious to meet Haley in person – and now that I know her, all I can say is, Wow – she rocks! What a delight to spend time in the company of an energetic, super smart, and truly happy, beautiful woman.

If you have not read the story of how Melissa met and married Haley via courtship closely supervised by their Quiverfull/fundamentalist parents, had 4 children, and lovingly supported her spouse through transition … it’s truly an amazing journey which made me cry tears of pride and joy.

Even though these two are heroic in their love and personal integrity, after spending time with them – eating tacos, playing with (sometimes corralling) their precocious kids, chatting, watching music videos on YouTube (I Want to Break Free by Queen), laughing about our old superstitions, I was mostly impressed with how “normal” they are – their family is definitely unconventional, and yet, they seem like regular folks.

Open comments below

Read everything by Vyckie!

Vyckie Garrison started No Longer Quivering to tell the story of her “escape” from the Quiverfull movement. Over time, NLQ has developed into a valuable resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle. Several more former QF adherents are now contributing their stories to NLQ and our collective voice makes these Quiverfull warnings impossible to dismiss or ignore.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce



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  • kittens

    This is such a beautiful family with such a beautiful story. And to me, this couple is the perfect example and definition of marriage: two individuals who love each other so much, are committed to each other, committed to the other’s well-being and happiness, and who support each other through thick and thin. We could all learn a lesson about communication from these two women,

  • Baroness Black

    I understand what you meant by your title, Vyckie. But looking back through history there have always been examples of same sex couples or groups rearing children (either because women died in childbirth and men ended up raising them, or because men would die or disappear in work/at sea/in wars and leave women raising the children). And we have examples of eunuchs who could live as either gender. I only point this out because people like to state that these families are not “traditional” or “natural”, but history shows that there’s nothing new under the sun!

  • Marek

    Yes, I would imagine they seem like regular folks because they are.

    Having read all of Permission to Live in… about a week?

  • vyckiegarrison

    You make a good point. Thanks. 🙂