Millipede Part 33 How Did I Get Here? Part 4

Millipede Part 33 How Did I Get Here? Part 4 October 27, 2012

by Millipede

I think that a lot of women traveled the gradual route. It is the sweetest way into the trap.

In my case I can say that one of the bigger issues lies within the sociopolitical cosmos itself. For example, feminism exists in alliance with other causes such as affirmative action and gun control. A similar linkage of various views occurs on the right.

In my case while I believed that women should have basic equal rights as men I held other views that were verboten in the Liberal/Progressive circle in which I was raised and schooled. This led me to search elsewhere.

Even then, I could have stayed out of Patriarchy. However, it was the reawakening interest in the Bible and the fact that I was married to someone who also had the same interest that led me to Patriarchy.

Most Fundamentalist Christians to varying degrees hold with Patriarchy. However, using the same analogy that they use concerning Feminist sympathies, I say that one cannot be “somewhat Patriarchal” any more than someone can be “somewhat pregnant”. To be sure, people believe and practice it to varying degrees. However, accepting the basic premise of Patriarchy the only question remains is how far does one go to stay logically consistent with said beliefs.

Being married to a man who also was on a similar quest was a HUGE difference, especially when he took to Patriarchy. This meant unlike many people, we actually practiced a Patriarchal marriage.

I know many people who give lip service to “man being head of the house”. These folks never get wrapped up in church or various study groups.They tend to be on fire for political issues and like to think themselves as Christians without getting too wrapped up in it. In fact they dislike the hardcore fundamentalist Christians and yet from time to time even while they condemn the extremes of Patriarchy, these same folks will say things like “a man is the head of the house, but he needs to really provide” or “he should love his wife”. Having known such people, they usually practice something like a partnership in their own marriage, but will give lip service to a mild sort of Patriarchy because they see it as part of the Bible.

I could have been the same sort of person except since my husband and I became friends with people who really tried to “live by the Bible”, we had to put our money where our mouth was. Those who gave lip service to Patriarchy were also those who did not like the authoritarian nature of the hardcore Christians. The two groups often fell out with each other early on leaving my husband and I in with the hardcore church going group.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

| Part 10| Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 |

Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17| Part 18

| Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 |Part 22| Part 23 | Part 24

| Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30

| Part 31 | Part 32 |

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce


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  • fwtbc

    In my case while I believed that women should have basic equal rights as men I held other views that were verboten in the Liberal/Progressive circle in which I was raised and schooled. This led me to search elsewhere.

    I’m curious what these beliefs are. Do you still hold them?

  • ssohara

    I am a Christian and I believe in the Bible but the thing is – the Bible should be read as a whole. I think the Patriarchy movement picks and chooses. For example, in Ephesian, right before it says that wives should submit to their husbands, it says that all believers should submit to each other. That provides a whole lot of context into what submission means. Also, Christ sent the Spirit down to us. It’s not about people obeying some teacher’s interpretation of the Bible, it’s about each of us reading the Bible and using the Spirit to help us discern the truth. Certainly teachers can be important but ultimately it comes down to ourselves. We don’t rely only on ourselves because we are selfish and fallen, but we rely on ourselves in conjunction with the word of God, the Spirit of God and what we learn from others. It’s an exquisite system of checks and balances.
    In a marriage, husbands and wives theoretically create a strand of three with the Spirit – so we learn and teach each other.

    I don’t know if any of that makes sense, but that is what I believe in.

  • ssohara

    Also, I totally don’t believe in women being beaten down, put into a spiritual prison, etc. Believers are supposed to encourage each other, lift each other up, use their strengths to protect each other, etc. I interpret that to mean, in a sense, that men use their superior strength to protect women and each other and women use their superior emotional strength to protect men and each other. With the advent of guns, women are more and more able to defend themselves and their families, too. With the advent of modern techniques that help men get more in touch with their feelings – men are better able to care for themselves and others on an emotional level. This is all good, right? I’m hard-core pro-2nd amendment, but I’m also pro-equality for men and women (and gays, straights, whites, blacks, etc.) before the law. I don’t want to live in a theocracy. I don’t know if any of this makes any sense, but that’s where I’m at philosophically