Betrothed: A Love Story

February 5, 2013 by Suzanne Calulu

Looks like the Christian Culture War is currently alive and well in the Indie film world. There’s a fund raiser going on right now on the Indiegogo.com website to fund a film about courtship named “Betrothed: A Love Story”.

It’s being billed as a documentary film and a romantic comedy. Here’s a short synopsis of the film.

“Finding the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with can seem nothing short of impossible, but what if you decided that you were going to renounce dating, save yourself for marriage, and leave the process of looking for your husband up to your parents…and God? This is the story of Kelly, a young woman who is doing just that.”

Guessing that the aim of this film is to make courtship seem ‘Godly’ and the right way to go about finding a husband. While the idea isn’t exactly main stream in our society this film seems more like propaganda for courtship, in the same way that the disingenuous Duggar television shows are propaganda for the Quiverfull movement.

What do you think?

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

‘Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

‘Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce

February 5, 2013

Quoting Quiverfull: Protective Culture?

February 6, 2013 Quoting Quiverfull: Doing Hard Things?

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Pj

So a movie about (likely, mostly) Caucasian arranged marriages. For reals. And what is the difference between patriarchal middle Easter/south Asian cultural practices and theirs? Oh of course… Theirs is the ‘right’ way.’
The_L

“Finding the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with can seem nothing short of impossible, but what if you decided that you were going to renounce dating, save yourself for marriage, and leave the process of looking for your husband up to your parents…and God?”

Then you’d have a higher chance of ending up married to somebody with whom you aren’t compatible.
Lynn

I watched the trailer. Wow. She has normal parents who think courtship is silly and want to treat her like an adult who has free will and an educated mind to make her own decisions in her love life. And what does she do? She finds another couple to be her “spiritual parents.”

Yes, it does look like propoganda to me. And I will definitely want to see it, haha.
A.F. Alexander

Of course, arranged marriages are biblical – so removing a girl’s control over her own destiny and placing it squarely in the hands of men is supposedly right, proper, and “godly.” If anybody doubted the Religious Right wanted to return to the Dark Ages, this movie removes all doubt.
Teri Anne

I want the patriarchial Christians to lose the cultural war.
Retha Faurie

“what if you decided that you were going to renounce dating, save yourself for marriage, and leave the process of looking for your husband up to your parents…and God?”

Lewis Wells tells a story on his blog of what happens if a girl decide just that. His story is named “the joke was on me”.
Do anyone know of a true story by a quiverfull daughter who married the man her parents chose, and the consequences that had? I mean, stories like that will answer the question for those interested in the phenomenon, and who may look up the subject on the Internet.
It will be way more convincing than the fictitious propaganda story in their movie.

(Why, o why, is it allways girls who have to submit to parents in that kind of propaganda? Why is this not “the story of Kelvin, a young man who is doing just that” ?)
Retha Faurie

Lewis Wells tells a story
should have been:
Lewis Wells tells a true story …
Retha Faurie

She finds other “parents?” Isn’t that disrespectful and disobedient to the advice – find your own husband – of her true parents? Or does their Bibles say only children of patriarchal families should follow the council of their parents?
Nea

I wondered about that myself. If her father tells her to knock that nonsense off and she’s bound to obey her father, what gives her the right to rebel against his wishes and find substitute parents?

(Not to mention that the whole idea is your parents know you better than you know yourself; what do John and Jane Q RandomChristian know about her?)
Lynn

Most Christian teachings I’ve heard will tell people to obey authority unless it causes you to sin. I’m sure in her case, she believes courtship is God’s plan for her, so her parents cannot trump that.
KT

The difference is that the way arranged marriages are arranged in the South Asia and in the Middle East is a lot better. Arranged marriages are agreements between families, yes, but that means that the entire family, including the female relatives and the prospective bride and groom are involved in the process. People are quite up front about what they are looking for-in terms of background, education, physical appearance and personality and making sure that the couple of compatible is a major goal. Also, no one pretends that this process is in the hands of God, people might pray for a husband or wife, but they are also out looking for prospects. At least in urban areas, it isn’t at all unusual for the couple to be allowed to talk on the phone or over email with little or no oversight or censorship, and in some places, its pretty common for the couple to go on unsupervised dates once they are actually engaged. This kind of arranged marriage seems to produce happy, stable, loving marriages as often as dating does.
Libby Anne

The Botkins recommend finding a new spiritual authority if your father refuses to take up the mantle and serve as your spiritual authority. They actually address the exact scenario as the girl in this film, and she does exactly what they recommend.
Lilah

This sounds like the sort of low-budget crap you would see on one of those Christian channels.
herewegokids

Saw the trailer and some other clips..if this propoganda they’re in trouble. The 2 poor fools who are the main storyline are 2 of the most awkward, backwards acting individuals I’ve ever seen. Even the girls’ own parents think it’s just plain weird. It would scare me the hell away from courtship in a hurry.