Quoting Quiverfull: Helicopter Parenting?

Quoting Quiverfull: Helicopter Parenting? March 2, 2013

by Mary Pride in Homeschool World 2008

You might be thinking, “Who cares how a bunch of rich snobs raise their kids?”

The reason I brought all this up is that today’s middle-class homeschooling (and other) parents are in the same boat as yesterday’s Harvard parents.

They knew that the right college and right job could mean the difference between remaining a member of their (upper-upper) class or not.

We know that the right college and right job can mean the difference between remaining a member of the middle class or becoming outsourced or laid off.

They were terribly concerned that their children marry people of the right social class. Only a few such people were available, so the competition would be keen.

We are terribly concerned that our children marry people of the right moral (and often, spiritual) class. Today, finding a spouse who understands and believes in marital fidelity is hard. With the “dumbing down” of Christianity (and just about every traditional religion) such that the average churchgoer’s religion is at least half pop culture, parents have serious concerns that their child may end up getting married to a seemingly religious spouse, then dumped. Homeschool parents also worry about whether their child’s spouse understands the educational issues and will want to homeschool. On top of this, today’s young men are increasingly allergic to marriage. All these factors mean only a few potential mates even measure up, so the competition will be keen.

One reason the “old money” upper class remains the old money upper class is that the parents have always paid attention to these details. When upper-class parents start ignoring their children, the next generation becomes useless playboys with trophy wives, and heaven only knows how the grandchildren, if any, will turn out. However, thanks to all their money, they at least won’t be broke.

Middle-class parents have no such golden parachutes to hand on to their children. Lacking trust funds, all we can do is provide the best education possible and try to keep those family bonds strong so our young adults will have the support they need to stay on the straight and narrow. We’re not trying to hijack our kids’ lives; we’re simply standing guard as they move out into the battle zone.

What does a helicopter do? Deliver the troops to battle and evacuate casualties. So if there is no culture war, nobody needs a helicopter. But if kids today are facing a tougher future than we ever did, what’s wrong with a little backup?

Comments open below

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce


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  • saraquill

    After reading that essay, I’m trying to figure out she hasn’t insulted. According to her, wealthy people are bad, young males are bad, and so are any people who aren’t her very specific brand of Christianity. All children are bad too, unless they are homeschooled and do everything the writer says and wants.

    I also find her helicopter metaphor to be tortured.

  • “Today, finding a spouse who understands and believes in marital fidelity is hard.”


  • madame

    In my mother’s words: hogwash!

  • I like that in her original long article linked to this that she denigrates the methods of the wealthy folks and then turns around and advocates using the same educational tactics they do. Moral limbo there baby!

  • StopandThink

    I understand what you’re trying to say and it is true. However, speaking in generalities in this PC world invites intentional and unintentional misconstruing of otherwise good content. All we can do to communicate what are now considered to be controversial, countercultural beliefs is to “speak the truth in love” without judgement. It is very difficult and it will be even more difficult as time goes on. The key is praying now for the spouses and friends of our children and putting them all into God’s hands. He is a loving helicopter parent. There are lines drawn clearly in God’s word which are intended for our benefit. We choose to either stay inside or cross those lines. People who call themselves christians today, and even those who truly are, don’t realize how much we’ve compromised and how ignorant we are. Like a poor carbon copy of a poor carbon copy we’re passing our errors down to our children. We and our children need wisdom and discernment to avoid being snared by counterfeit christianity just as much as being snared by wicked worldliness.